Here, I begin an ode to the creamiest, tastiest, and all-around loveliest of the condiments: peanut butter.

Oh, peanut butter. PB. (Is it cool if I get familiar and casual with you?)

You have always been present in my life, and looking back on even my earliest years, you were there for me every step of the way. I cannot downplay the important role you have played and certainly owe it to you to profess my undying devotion to your existence.

My earliest memories of you are nothing but pure happiness. I remember you getting stuck to the roof of my five-year-old mouth, as I sat criss-cross-applesauce on the living room floor enjoying you sandwiched between two pieces of bread. (Cut into halves, of course. It’s one of your most flattering looks.)

As I grew in maturity, so did you. When I branched out and formed new relationships in my early childhood life, you did the same. I came to love you even more in partnership with the perfect sweet counterpart to your saltiness: grape jelly.

You and jelly accompanied me to school almost every day. You sat with me at lunch on the first day, even when I was unsure whether or not anyone else would. You’re such a pal. I owe you one.

I think that one of the most beautiful unions of you and Jelly is the Uncrustable. Truly. I would like to shake the hand of each and every Smucker’s employee. Biting into an Uncrustable reveals a beautiful, thick layer of you, happily married to Jelly. And there’s not even crust to eat around. Praise.

Though you and Jelly are one of the most classic pairings around, you also make my heart flutter when matched with honey and bananas. The peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwich is nothing to be taken lightly in my world. In fact, in Jessica Land, it might actually qualify as the national dish. There is nothing better.

You come in many forms, each beautiful and unique in its own way. Crunchy, creamy, whipped, natural. Jif, Peter Pan, Skippy. Inside M&Ms, clothed in chocolate inside a Reese’s wrapper, baked into a cookie... I do not discriminate. My love for you is unconditional.

Beloved Peanut Butter. I could enjoy you morning, noon, or night.

(Or late night… like middle of the night, straight off of a spoon.

I mean, what?...)

You are one of life’s simplest and most enduring pleasures. Though many spreads try to imitate you, you can never be replicated. Thank you for bringing smiles and sticky mouths to people everywhere.