Dear future Meg,
Today is a weird day because after being at school for three months, you're at home in bed. Everything in the room is the same, except that mom cleaned it and you now know where nothing is. It's difficult to figure out if everything else at home is different, or if it's exactly the same. It's a weird thought that life still moves at home when you're at school, one you haven't quite wrapped your brain around just yet and that's okay.
It's been really amazing for you to get away from home, even just for this amount of time. You've had the time to grasp what you learned from the past and what you can continue to do with it. You even started going to therapy, which was a big step for you. You never considered it an option and to have gone on your own power is huge. You've made a lot of big steps in the past few months, and you're proud of the person you are. There are a few things that I want you to remember, future Meg. I want you to remember where you used to be, where you were when you wrote this, and where you are when you read it. I want you to remember how far you've come and how far you're going.
First of all, please remember to say no when you need to. You have the tendency to let life overwhelm you when it doesn't have to. Take a break, even when you feel like you have more in you. It will still be there if you rest. Taking care of yourself is still important. Be kind to yourself, you're doing great things. Remember that, too.
You know when things are wrong. Step back, look at the situation, and figure it out. Don't get lost in it. You have the knowledge to navigate situations in a healthy way now.
Ask for what you want, put yourself out there. The worst they're going to say is no. Take a leap of faith. You'll never reach the things you crave if you don't.
If someone wants you, they will find a way. This doesn't even need to be in a romantic sense. If someone wants to be around you, or speak to you, they will make it work. Stop making excuses for people. They are responsible for themselves, and if they don't want to be in your life, that is a reflection of them and not you.
You've recently learned that being alone is not equivalent to loneliness. It is important to spend time by yourself. Being alone is not a negative thing, and it should not be seen as such. It's good to spend time alone doing nothing like watching Netflix or going in public by yourself. You kicked anxiety's ass to be able to go out on your own, so use your power. Go get coffee, go get a book, etc. Spend time with yourself, you're a good person to be around.
You are constantly learning about yourself. You are not the same person you are reading this as you are writing this, and that's a beautiful thing. The growth you experience is amazing and is a testament to you as a person. You conquered so much and you deserve all the good that comes your way.
Also, please wear jackets when it's cold. You're always sick.
Sincerely,
Present Meg.
