Love Is A State That Only The Brave Are Destined For

Love Is A State That Only The Brave Are Destined For

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"Being deeply loved gives you strength. Loving deeply gives you courage"

-Lau Tzu

We often tend to avoid or think twice about situations in which we may hurt ourselves. We like to make sure we are safe, which is why many in this current generation believe in the common stigma against being in a relationship. We tend to say we are not looking to have the "commitment at a young age" or that we don't want to have so much "responsibility." But honestly, we are avoiding the pain.

If you have ever been through heartbreak, you know firsthand how crushing and exhausting the experience is. It takes everything from you. Your thoughts are consumed and racing, your days blend together, your soul literally aches. You put yourself to bed anyway you can, and pass the moments along as quickly as humanly possible. You want time to move along to separate yourself from this period of pure and utter pain. You want your heart to close up and to build your strength up again.

But is this really what strength is? Is it strong of us to keep ourselves closed off from others? Is it strong of us to not care about our relationships? We have all come to believe that those who hold no feelings are the ones with the upper hand. But as a generation, we are strongly mistaken. We are missing out.

We are missing out on that connection where someone knows every corner of our brains and can tell us what were thinking before we even know it ourselves. We are missing out on that feeling of pure joy just by seeing someones face. We are missing out on the euphoria of a feeling so beyond ourselves, because we are scared. Not because we are strong.

Love is being vulnerable. Love is leaving yourself open to someone who could choose to break every part of you at any moment. Love is scary. Love is a state that only the brave are destined for.

Bravery is not the absence of fear, it is fear being present, but deciding to go for it anyways. We are all scared; of the future, of the unknown. We all start off with fear, we all have fear intertwined in our brain down to our hearts. But it is moving past that fear and opening yourself up; that is what love is all about.

Those who have experienced heartbreak and can open themselves up to love again; those are the few who truly know the depths of bravery. Those are the ones that are in touch with the very essence of their souls, and are destined for a love so incredibly strong. Those are the ones who will find life's great love, because they are brave enough to do so.

You give yourself to someone fully, and thus, trust them to hold your heart in the most gentle form one can. They are yours, and you are theirs. And together you are building a strong, yet vulnerable bond. And that is the most beautiful thing a couple can do. Letting go of fear in any part of your life lets you fully experience what is in front of you. So why are we fighting against this?

Here's to those brave enough to bare their souls in the name of love. May your hearts stay free and vulnerable in your journey.

Cover Image Credit: www.tumblr.com

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Teddy And Owen Show All That Not Waiting For Your Best Friend Makes You A Strong Woman

Shonda Rimes shows young woman that valuing yourself in a relationship for two is a strong decision.
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Shonda Rimes, the creative genius behind "Grey's Anatomy," has done some crazy things in this 14-season-and-still-going-strong show. From tragically ending the McDreamy storyline to starting the Avery-Pierce romance, Shonda has thrown every sort of curveball for the doctors at Grey-Sloan.

However, in the episode entitled, "One Day Like This," Shonda kicks up the heat with Owen Hunt and Teddy Altman only to end it with a semi-familiar message: even if he is your best friend, you do not have to give up everything for him.

For those that need a quick recap of the relationship between Major Owen Hunt and Major Teddy Altman, their relationship started out on their Iraqi tour where they were both stationed as trauma surgeons. While it was evident that they had some chemistry, Owen, unfortunately, was engaged to Beth at the time.

When Owen was done with the army, he took up a job (post-breakup with Beth) at Seattle Grace where he was wooed by the snarky Cristina Yang. However, never once was Teddy thought of until Christina wanted to learn from a cardio god after Burke left.

Teddy, in every sense of the word, was a badass at cardiology. Cool, collected and a wealth of knowledge, Teddy offered a wide variety of expertise to Christina while still maintaining her composure regarding her feelings about Owen. As a good best friend to a guy, she kept it on the lockdown about how she was the right person for him.

But with Shonda, such feelings have usually been kept a secret for long (otherwise what happens to the good television ratings), and Teddy spills everything to Owen who ends up pushing her away and turning to Christina. And to really top it all off, Owen manages to be involved with her late husband's, Henry's, death.

So when Owen finally gets his life together post-Amelia and goes after Teddy, she gives him a chance. An almost 24-hour chance. Once Owen mentions it was Amelia that brought him to her, Teddy kicks him out and closes the door behind him.

This may disappoint a lot of viewers given that Teddy and Owen are made for each other, but I believe that Shonda Rimes is making an underlying point that waiting around for your best friend is undervaluing you as a woman of power.

Teddy and Owen's relationship is exactly what girls should not do for their best guy friend because all it ends up proving is that the girl puts herself second in the relationship. No woman should ever put herself in the position of waiting for a man to notice her.

Teddy is beautiful in many ways and Owen is only realizing her beauty now. Smart, charismatic, dedicated and caring, Teddy would have loved to have Owen by her side. But time and time again, Owen pushed her away for what he thought was something better.

When Teddy was faced with the decision to have her happily ever after come true, she decides to let it go forever which makes her even more beautiful in my eyes than ever before. Instead of holding on to Owen to complete her, she comes to her senses and lets him go because her own value matters more than what he thinks.

To get to the essence of this moment, Teddy is a stronger, independent woman because she did not fold in the face of Owen promising to be there for her because he wants to. This poignant moment hits home for me because it shows women that for every guy best friend they have, it does not make them weak for giving into them or strong if they don't. Instead, it makes her human.

Then again, we would all be human because choices like that aren't easy. Making the right choice for you regarding your best friend is important because it only accounts for what you want. Not what is good for the other person which ultimately is not selfish at all.

Cover Image Credit: ABC
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50 Amazing Songs From Someone Who Actually Listens To Everything

What music do you like? "A little bit of everything."
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I cannot tell you the number of times someone has asked me what music I listen to without them actually getting a good answer.

To me, music is everything. It is that motivating kick to work on homework. It is that eloquent touch missing from a homemade dinner. It is the immersion of memory from a sound you heard years ago. It is the beat that makes you dance like you actually know how to dance. It is that connection you can share with someone while singing a song at the top of your lungs!

My music history started off with my mom. My mom would play Christian pop for me and my siblings while we cleaned the house. During airplane flights, I would listen to the jazz radio for hours on end. From there, I transitioned to the country music my dad would play through the speakers of his work truck. My sister turned me onto soft rock through the RCHP, Jack Johnson, and the Goo Goo Dolls.

Then I got my first iPod. Suddenly, I no longer had to rely on others to play music for me. I could listen to anything and everything I fancied at the moment. I would write down songs I heard at dances to download later from YouTube videos. I would wait in agony for the end of a movie to see the song list. I would carefully select my next fifteen songs to buy with my iTunes gift card, to the point of creating brackets to see which ones were the best.

Throughout high school, my brother introduced to me to rap music and dubstep. My friends would tell me their favorites, and I would listen to every song of their favorite artist in a week. Soon I would know more about that artist than they did. I jumped from Lil Wayne to Boyce Avenue to Taylor Swift, even touching One Direction because that’s what girls liked.

Every day was a chance for a new song. Every moment was a chance for a new beat and lyric to turn my entire viewpoint of music upside down.

When someone asks me what type of music do I listen to, then I have to say everything. I listen to everything! I can’t have a favorite picking between Beethoven and Drake. I can’t have a favorite between Flatland Calvary and Post Malone.

So here is my list of the most defining songs in my life. There are from every genre and each one holds different memories with them. Give them a listen. Everyone can be a banger or an anthem. Never stop listening to music. Never stop clicking shuffle. Enjoy.

Side Note: These are in no particular order. All of them are NOT SAFE FOR WORK. These are not my top 50 songs. These are just 50 good songs that I enjoy a lot.

1. “Doses & Mimosas” - Cherub

2. “Suga Suga” - Baby Bash, Frankie J

3. “Enchanted” - Taylor Swift

4. “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” - Cage the Elephant

5. “Dani California” - Red Hot Chili Peppers

6. “Elastic Heart” - Sia

7. “Gangsta’s Paradise” - Coolio, L.V.

8. “Mr. Jones” - Counting Crows

9. “The Devil Went Down To Georgia” - The Charlie Daniels Band

10. “All of Me” - John Legend

11. “Love Me” - Lil Wayne, Drake, Future

12. “Gangsta” - Kehlani

13. “Your Body Is a Wonderland” - John Mayer

14. “Banana Pancakes” - Jack Johnson

15. “Howlin’ For You” - The Black Keys

16. “Pray For Me” - The Weeknd, Kendrik Lamar

17. “Stay” - Rihanna, Mikky Ekko

18. “iSpy” - KYLE Lil Yachty

19. “Creep” – Radiohead

20. “God Bless The U.S.A.” – Lee Greenwood

21. “Freeze Frame Time” - Brandon Rhyder

22. “Simple Song #3” - David Lang, Sumi Jo

23. “Light of the Seven” - Ramin Djawadi

24. “Suite No. 1 G Major Prelude” - Johann Sebastian Bach

25. “Hallelujah” - Pentatonix

26. “Higher Ground” - TNGHT, Hudson Mohawke, Lunice

27. “Sabotage” - Beastie Boys

28. “T.N.T” - AC/DC

29. “Blockbuster Night Part 1” - Run the Jewels

30. “White Iverson” - Post Malone

31. “The Hills” - The Weeknd

32. “Shoot Me Down” - Lil Wayne, D. Smith

33. “Black Belts” - Pyramid Vritra, Pyramid Quince

34. “Thinkin Bout You” - Frank Ocean

35. “Sky Walker” - Miguel, Travis Scott

36. “Pray” - Sam Smith, Logic

37. “Yonkers” - Tyler, The Creator

38. “Flexicution” - Logic

39. “Hypnotize” - The Notorious B.I.G.

40. “Boondocks” - Little Big Town

41. “Hotel California" - Eagles

42. “Danger Zone” - Kenny Loggins

43. “Toes” - Zac Brown Band

44. “I think I’ll Just Stay Here and Drink” - Merle Haggard

45. “Song of the South” - Alabama

46. “A Country Boy Can Survive” - Hank Williams Jr.

47. “Chicks Dig It” – Christ Cagle

48. “She Likes the Beatles” - William Clark Green

49. “Long Hot Summer Day” - Turnpike Troubadours

50. “Summer III” – Vivaldi

“You know what music is? God's little reminder that there's something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars.” August Rush

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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