There are two kinds of people: those who love theme parks and those who hate them with a burning passion. That statement is a lie though, because there is actually a third person –the one who has a love-hate relationship theme parks. They’re the type of person who wouldn’t pick to go there on a day off, but if a group of friends or a significant other wants to go, they’ll tag along. They’ll also have an ongoing battle in their head about why they decided to go and if it was actually a good idea or not. A typical day at a theme park for someone who is ‘eh’ about them more than likely goes something like this.
1. You are forced to wake up at the crack of dawn to try and avoid the lines, making you question every decision you have ever made.
Let’s be honest, there are going to be lines no matter when you go.
2. You spend the entire ride there wondering if it’s too late to back out.
But everyone is so excited and you don’t want to ruin the fun.
3. Upon arriving, the only parking space to be found is in the middle of no where.
If you’re already complaining about walking from the car to the park entrance, then you are basically not going to survive this trip.
4. After finally getting through security and the lines that stretch for miles, you are in.
Only you find even longer lines and are tempted to just turn around and walk out.
5. Waiting in line for a roller-coaster gives you enough time to contemplate your life.
"What choices did I make in my life to end up in this place?"
6. You spend the entire time deciding whether to actually go on the ride or not.
“What are the pros and cons? How will this affect my life in the long run?"
7. If you don’t go on, then you become the official item holder for the entire trip.
AKA the mom of the group.
8. If not then you begin having chest pains the closer you get to the front.
“Why am I doing this? Why?"
9. Finally it’s your turn and you try your hardest not to runaway screaming.
It’s still not too late, is it?
10. They lock you into your seat and you feel constricted.
11. As you go up on the roller coaster your entire life flashes before your eyes.
So. Many. Regrets.
12. Then you go down and you get the ‘drop feeling’ that you loathe with the intensity of a thousand hot white suns.
You don’t understand how people find that feeling fun, at all.
13. But once the ride is done you feel like you can do anything.
14. Walking around the park is awful and you wish someone would just carry you around.
The sun doesn’t help and this is every lazy person’s worst nightmare.
15. You deal with the struggle of being hungry and the food being over-priced.
“Do I really need to eat? Do I feel like passing out today?”
16. As you walk you notice the hundreds of unsupervised children screaming and running around.
"Where are their parents? Why are they here? Their screaming makes me die a little on the inside."
17. Finally the sun is setting and you start to get more hopefully because that means it’s almost time to go home.
You're almost there. So close, yet so far away.
18. Then everyone agrees that they have had enough.
And you break into your happy dance, but on the inside.
19. As you drive home you think that this will be the last time you go for a while.
But you know that in the next couple weeks someone will ask to go and you will probably say yes.
