When we're young, we witness romance on the big screen. We read fairy tales and books. We see peers, friends, siblings, and family members fall in love. Through that, we come up with an idea of what love is supposed to look like.
We get the idea that love is a pair of rose-colored glasses that colors our world beautiful shades of red hot romance, and light pink optimism.
Unfortunately, most of us have seen love in a different, darker light. We have experienced divorce, infidelity, heartbreak, resentment, anger, or witnessed a love die out over time. Regardless, we know love is a high-risk high-reward path. But one that we can't help but take. Chemistry, culture, affection, and companionship take over our mind, body, and soul and we find ourselves caught up in feelings of love before we know it.
Those feelings are terrifying. We are at our most vulnerable in these moments and we know that at the end of the tunnel is either our worst nightmare or our greatest dream. And when you have seen the ugly, it is easy to shut it out altogether; the monsters under your bed seem to overshadow the light of your dreams. Which will be waiting for us?
Feeling love is an amazing thing. But choosing it is more powerful. Feelings are fleeting and ever-changing. So while relationships can fill us with feelings of joy, happiness, passion, and romance, they can also fill us with their counterparts. Insecurity. Doubt. Fear. Anger. Disappointment. Jealousy. So if we only depend on our feelings in our relationships, we may find ourselves riding a roller coaster without a seatbelt. And before we know it, we fall off.
That is where choice comes in. Choice is the commitment, trust, and loyalty. Choice is the seatbelt that we wear while we ride out the hills and loops of emotion, life events, and time. That is why honesty, communication, and trust are so essential to successful relationships. Love does not survive solely by giving you happy, tingly feelings forever. Love survives by work. Work like trusting that your significant other is choosing to love you every day. And them trusting you to do the same. It is choosing to forgive. It is choosing to remain faithful. It is choosing to control your temper. It is choosing to make sacrifices. It is choosing to be considerate. It is choosing to overlook imperfections. It is choosing to listen to what they have to say and it is choosing to hold them at the end of a long day.
Love is an amazing feeling. But more importantly, love is a choice.
