Growing up, funerals never really hit me. I understood that the person had passed on, but a lot of the time I didn't know them very well, or they were older or sick in some way.
When high school hit, everything changed.
At the beginning of freshman year, my uncle passed away in a freak boating accident. I had never known what it was like to realize that someone you love was never coming back. It didn't hit me the first night. It didn't hit me until I saw my mom crying at the loss of a younger brother... my grandparents dealing with the loss of a child. His death was the first one to really hit me.
The summer before senior year was hard on the small Shelton community. In July, we lost a bright, kind, wonderful young boy -- Travis -- to a firework accident. He was just about to start his freshman year.
Mid- August, a fellow upcoming senior and band kid -- Justin -- was injured in a longboarding accident. He passed away a week later, just two weeks before the start of senior year.
Mid-September, one of my friends and a fellow band kid lost his younger brother to cancer -- he would have been starting his sophomore year.
All of these were huge blows to our community, and made me value my friends and my community. It was a difficult year, there's no doubt about it; however, our community ended up working together to get through the difficult times.
This past summer I received word that a close family friend -- Paul -- had lost his long fight with cancer. I didn't know what to say or think. He had been Daddy Warbucks in Annie, the Cowardly Lion in Wizard of Oz, and Aslan in Narnia. He was always singing so joyfully at the front of our church every Sunday. How could the world have lost such a wonderful human being?
A few weeks later, we received news that a fellow Lute -- Tom -- had passed away after a rock climbing accident. It was an extremely harsh blow on the PLU community, and once again, it was hard to grasp how someone so talented and joyful could be gone.
Just this past week, I found out that a friend of mine who I have known since Kindergarten, yet have not seen in a few years, was hit by a car and passed away soon afterward. Gabriel -- He loved Jesus and friends and had an amazingly bright future.
Death frustrates me.
It takes away people you love, or members of a community who have made a huge impact on your life.
It makes people angry, frustrated, sad, confused.
But, as life goes on, people leave. Accidents happen, life happens, change happens.
It's hard, as a Christian, to comprehend why God would take away such wonderful people and important people in my life when he did, but I don't know how to find answers, or if there are any answers.
As you grow up, you lose the people you love. It's hard. It's frustrating and sad and can be really hard to comprehend, but life moves on.
The way I've looked at death, is to look at what those close to me held closest in their lives. Adventure, music, friends, God, community. It's my job to keep their legacies alive and to continue living like them, but also to stay true to myself and to make the most of life, because you honestly never know how much time you have.
