Allow me to paint the picture: it is my first semester of freshman year. I, like many others, began college without knowing anybody. There is so much newness. A new schedule, new workload, new living space, and new people. I feared that I would not get along with my roommate. I was afraid I would not find a group to be involved with on campus. Really, I feared loneliness.

One thing I never considered was that most people were in the same boat. We were all adjusting, terrified of the unknown. I soon realized I was incredibly lucky with one thing: I loved my roommate. Let’s pretend her name is Madison. We clicked rather quickly. We had been randomly paired up, and we knew nothing about one another. Yet we had similar interests, complementary sense of humor, and she was incredibly easy to live with. I felt so incredibly lucky to have a roommate who improved my college experience.

I also became very close with one of my suitemates. Let’s call her Emma. Madison, Emma, and I were like three peas in a pod. We would stay up until the wee hours of the morning, talking about life, our experiences, and laughing until our sides split. We would eat together, go shopping together, and even shared some classes. While I had made some friends through clubs I had joined on campus, most of my free time was spent in my room. I had never experienced anything like it. Even Madison’s longtime boyfriend became part of the group. I felt so happy that I had found good friends in my first semester.

The day I moved back in at the end of January, I received a text from Emma. She broke the news that she wouldn’t be returning for the spring semester. Her financial aid fell through, so she could no longer afford college. I was heartbroken. She was so kind and full of light. I knew our suite would not be the same without her.

When classes began, Madison still hadn’t returned. I began to get worried. She had told me she had the flu, so she would miss the first few days of the semester. As the days turned into weeks, I began to worry. It turned out her financial aid also had issues, so she was trying to deal with the university to come back. After nearly three weeks, she was forced to drop out. I was so upset. I couldn’t imagine life without my two closest college friends. We had all only known each other a few months, but it felt like so much more than that. It was also awful for them. They were forced to halt their educations for financial reasons, and it felt so unfair.

I fell into a despair I didn’t even know existed. I felt that loneliness I had feared in the first semester. I realized my problem was that, since I had found a few friends, I did not branch out much further. I didn’t have any other close friends. I now had people I was friendly with, but not people I really felt like myself around. I would sit in my room at night and go crazy from the silence. I also had no plans for a roommate for the following year. Madison and I were planning to stick together. The anxiety was overwhelming to say the least.

I knew what I had to do next. Sulking was only going to make things more miserable. I needed to branch out, make an actual effort to make friends. I called the other people I knew. I asked if they wanted to grab dinner, to come watch a movie, to help me study. I just wanted someone to talk to. It isn’t so easy after a full semester has passed, but I had to insert myself into pre-existing friend groups. It still isn’t easy. I do spend a lot of time alone. But I know that not all is lost.

I still miss Emma and Madison. I pray that they will return. Maybe they will one day. But for now, it is important to make the most of what I have. I cherish our fast friendships, but now I need to focus on finding a new circle. It is essential to remember that, at college, having friends makes more of a difference than you think. But your time is what you make of it. Cherish social interaction, but allow time for yourself too.