Sometimes, there are things you cannot simply bring yourself to accept.

When I was younger, I didn't want to accept that when it was raining in my town, it wasn't raining all over the world. I didn't want to accept that snow in Southern California wasn't exactly possible. And, today, I don't want to accept that Chester Bennington is gone.

On July 20th, 2017, Chester Bennington was found dead in his Los Angeles home. His death being investigated as a suicide. As a Linkin Park fan, I couldn't help but feel empty. The lead singer of the band that helped me throughout my battle with depression was suddenly gone. I remember digging through boxes in my garage and finding their Meteora CD; it was the first album that I had ever put onto my iPod shuffle. I would spend hours each night listening to it in its entirety until I eventually fell asleep on my couch.

As the day progressed, I saw several articles about his death, quickly scrolling past them until they ultimately filled my feed. I read the statements posted by his wife and the official Linkin Park page and all of which I refused to believe. I felt my heart slowly start to sink as the news finally kicked in: Chester was gone. After reading through countless articles I eventually found my way into their comment sections; and what I saw broke my heart. Although many were paying tribute to Chester, there were some who took his battle with depression, alcoholism, and drug addiction as a joke. Some went as far to say that they feel no sympathy for, “[…] a rich white man with a wife and six children,” and that “[…] His wife and children should have been enough for him to want to live,” ultimately, resulting in hate from grieving Linkin Park fans.

To those who do not understand and would rather spew hatred about someone who struggled to live, I hope you never have a loved one who felt the way Chester did. I hope you never know the pain that his family feels about losing their husband, son, brother, and father. I pray that you do not feel the numbing pain that I do with the loss of one of my heroes. I pray that you never live with that pain yourself. For 41 years, Chester Bennington fought to stay alive while saving thousands through his music. So, from now on, we will continue to remember him as he was, just like he wanted.

“When my time comes

Forget the wrong that I’ve done

Help me leave behind

Some reasons to be missed

And don’t resent me

And when you’re feeling empty

Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest.”