I just hope that this is something we can discuss and acknowledge. If we're trying to be equal, wearing makeup defeats this purpose, especially in a male-dominated field

Two weeks ago I was in Israel, and I had the best, most soul-searching conversations with people. During one of those conversations something came up, and I realized how I've been bottling it up for a while.

Do I really have to wear makeup and do my hair for ROTC?

What a double standard. Why can't I roll out of bed, just like guys? I already wake up at 5:30 a.m., why would I wake up earlier to put makeup?

A guy's response:

Heck no. Guys notice the girls that wear makeup and try, and we appreciate girls that don't, even though we don't say anything about it, we notice it.

A girl's response:

That's just how it is, you have to do your hair.

If we were in combat, my hair would be the last thing I would worry about. What does my hair have to do with anything? In advance camp, we spend a month in the field and only have four shower opportunities. Worrying about makeup and hair is not a top priority.

This year, for LLAB (Lead Lab, a two-hour class in which we learn Army tactics, instructed by juniors and seniors), we started wearing flicks and helmets, to try and simulate a more accurate sense of practice. Thus, why would I have to wear makeup if that is not simulating an actual representation of the Army?

I've discussed this with a couple of my friends from other ROTC programs. And we've come across three reoccurring themes:

1. Insecurities

The worse of all evils. This is something that no one is immune to. Insecurities are the root of all evils. Female insecurities are rooted deep within ourselves, and the world around us. It affects the way in which we view ourselves, and behave. To wear makeup because we want to is different then because we have to. Dealing with insecurities is tricky because it's wrong to tell someone how to deal with them. Thus, I understand why wearing makeup helps with insecurities.

2. Societal female norms

Depending on where we grow up, we each have our 'set' of norms. Growing up in Florida taught me, to always smile because showing any emotion aside from that wasn't very 'ladylike'. Crying is okay, but anger is not. Wearing spandex at Track and Field meets, are okay, even though my butt hung out of them. It's okay for guys to make comments about your body as you're going through puberty. I mean, in elementary we had "smack ass Friday's", and you had to run and stay away from boys during recess. In that same elementary school, I remember one of the faculty smacking my girlfriend's butt. I still remember the look I gave him, but he was my best friend's stepdad. My mom's, boss's boyfriend! I didn't know what was happening, but I knew there was something wrong about it. I told my mom, and she told me that wasn't acceptable if it happened to me, but why didn't my mom say anything about it to anyone else? Was she scared that I was going to get in trouble? Or was she scared that she was going to be in trouble? Both?

3. The goal of finding a husband

Two years ago, I would have been so judgmental of this. During basic camp, we interacted with girls that went to military academies. As we became to get close, I decided to ask why they went to The Citadel. I mean, they have to cut off all their hair freshmen year. In 2008 this changed, and sophomores, juniors, and seniors are allowed to grow their hair, as long as t is always in a bun. Naturally, I was intrigued. Her response still echoes in my mind:

"I went to The Citadel because I always knew I wanted to marry an Army guy, so it was my best chance at it."

Unreal.

When I first heard this, I thought she was joking. She wasn't. At that moment, I realized that some women plan their entire lives around a marriage that hasn't even happened, with someone they haven't met. I was so angry and confused.

Could I have easily fallen into this?

Is this what being a feminist is about?

Should I plan my life around finding my 'other half too'?

If I'm not, is there something wrong with me?

And then it hit me. Maybe females wear makeup for all these reasons.