When I was thirteen years old there were a couple of places you could find me. School, a dance studio, and running around with my brothers. Dancing was the one joy I truly had for many years. I found joy in performance and I found a sense of pride in myself when I learned step after step. Although I was disciplined in many types of dance I found the greatest joy in tap. Tap dancing was the one style I felt the freest performing. Learning every single step and move I could articulate with my feet brought me a great sense of joy and pride within myself.

At the age of fourteen, my tap dancing capabilities began to accelerate to that of seniors in high school and collegiate age performers. Dance teachers complimented my skill and pushed me to continue pursuing this style of dance as they insisted that I could go very far in the world with this one style of dance. More times than not, they all began to insist that I could go on to perform tap dancing professionally.

All of these compliments came one year after my world of dance came tumbling down. At thirteen years old, I had a dance teacher tell me that I was never going to amount to anything in the world of dance and that I should just give up because of my body shape and my weight. I now sit here at twenty-two, almost twenty-three years old and I now can tell you that giving up tap dancing was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Tap was an escape into rhythm and movement that many people did not understand. Tap did not require me to dress indecently. It allowed me to be a teenager and dress as a teenager should be allowed to dress when competitively dancing, modestly.

I let go of my anger and resentment towards this dance instructor many years ago. She owns a successful studio in Springfield and has created an army of dancers many of which have become professionals within the dance industry. I credit her for continuing her business. However, I will tell you that if your body type is not lean and slender, you are treated as an odd duck. Also, if you do not come from what she considers a wealthy family, you are a problem to her.

For a long period of time, this studio owner hired a woman I knew by Miss Laura. Miss Laura was the main tap instructor and she had a huge role in my success for a short period of time. She was someone that my mother and I could talk to comfortably without any judgment. She made me feel as if I was extremely valuable even though I was not competing in every style of dance because the studio owner said I wasn't "good enough" to be in every dance routine but I was well qualified to tap dance. So I tapped, and tapped, and tapped. I absorbed every piece of information Laura gave to me. She was my mentor and confidant that I found within this dance studio. She pushed me to my ends and made me have more skill than I could've ever imagined.

Now I go to the movies and see things like "The Greatest Showman" and I often get sad. I had instructor after instructor tell me that my tap dancing could've carried me to a professional level. As unrealistic of a career path that would've been, I think it would've been a dream job. I would've been in amazing shape, following a dream that young Amanda had, and I would've proven so many people wrong.

I don't talk about this dream I once had because everyone knows me as the "color guard girl" in college. Color guard is what filled the void once I gave up dancing. It allowed me to perform and immerse myself in newer equipment pieces and always have a reason to challenge myself.

This was a dream that I had as a young girl. A dream that was innocent and full of hope. A dream that many people have been able to acheive because they were able to push past many critics. I, however, lost that dream. A dream I regret ever letting slip through my fingers. From time to time, I still slip on my tap shoes and an immediate grin emerges from my face. I feel as free and happy as I did at fourteen years old. Do not ever let someone take away your dream. If you do, you may end up like me at twenty two and reminscing on what could have been.