Long-Distance Relationships Are Hard, But The Best Ones Are Worth It

Long-Distance Relationships Are Hard, But The Best Ones Are Worth It

No matter how many times we feel like we should just give up, we're given a million more reasons to stay.

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Relationships are hard. Long-distance relationships are even worse.

When I have to go more than a day without seeing my boyfriend, I almost can't bear it.

But now, with hundreds of miles between us and weeks between visits, I'm barely hanging on to my sanity.

It's moments like these that I praise the creators of FaceTime (shout-out to Roberto Garcia).

I've had friends who went to different colleges or lived a ways away, so I didn't really think this would be much different.

Boy, was I wrong.

I know it could be worse. We could be in different time zones, countries or even halfway across the world from one another. But those few hours feel eternal, especially on cold nights when I'm cuddled up in bed with his face displayed on my little screen.

Distance also has its own set of rules in real life that are very different than those I learned in math class.

You see, I was always told that distance made things appear smaller. However, it seems to have the opposite effect on disagreements. Small issues now seem monumental and completely unmanageable.

Our growth process seems to be suffocated, like there's a knot in our hose.

It's a funny thing, but it seems the more distance between two people, the tighter the reigns on their boundaries become.

There are a lot of things we would never think of doing when we were together (and within the same jurisdiction), but suddenly we have all this space and free time and it's as if the lines are a little blurred.

To make up for the distance, there are many things we have to overcompensate for. We talk more, we're more lovey-dovey (totally vomit-worthy at times), we put in more effort and give each other as much attention as possible.

When trying to focus on classes, extracurricular activities, social lives and maintaining our sanity, expending so much energy into our relationship can be very stressful.

And, of course, we mess up because we're only human.

Relationships are hard, but the best ones are worth it. And no matter how often we mess up or fall short, no matter how many times we feel like we should just give up, we're given a million more reasons to stay.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I'm Moving Away From My Boyfriend But That Doesn't Mean We're Breaking Up

Long distance or down the street, we're staying together.

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Back in September, I applied and got accepted into the Disney College Program. This means I'll be away from my home state for four months, maybe six and a half if I apply and get accepted to extend my program. Being gone, I'm not only leaving my friends and family, but I'm leaving my boyfriend too.

A ton of people have asked me if we're going to break up and to set the record straight, the answer is NO.

Why would we even think about breaking up? It's only four months, and that's nothing. I blinked and we were already dating for four months. It's going to go by super quick.

On top of that, he supports me going and was beyond happy for me that I was accepted on the first try—not to brag or anything)! He wants me to go, not because he wants time apart, but because he knows that it's an amazing opportunity for me. He reminds me every time the Disney College Program comes up.

We both know that we're still going to talk to each other every day, or almost every day depending on my schedule. But we're both adults and can send a quick message to each other so that we know we aren't ignoring or forgetting about one another.

I think that a lot of long distance relationships don't work because of all this fake stuff people watch in movies and on TV—like no one is going to miss the most important business meeting of their life to have brunch with you...

One thing that I've noticed about people moving away and being in a relationship, is that they don't communicate. They don't communicate their worries and fears BEFORE they move, they don't do it during the move and if they are coming back soon they don't do it AFTER unless it's in a fight.

The thing about my boyfriend and I is that we've talked about what's going to happen when I have a crazy crazy schedule and it doesn't line up with his already busy schedule. We've talked about what's gonna happened when I leave and when I come back. We've talked about thing plenty of times and I think that we've for the most figured it out.

The other thing that I noticed with people going into long distance relationships is that they expect way too much and too many unrealistic things, and I think a lot of this comes from what is shown to us through social media.

I don't expect my boyfriend to jump on a plane every other weekend to come see me, and he doesn't expect that I do the same. We don't expect to have regular conversations like we do now, we both know that we might get a short window of opportunity to talk to each other depending on our schedules. We both know that it's going to be hours and hours before one of us replies to a text message. I don't expect him to send me a million and one packages. I don't expect him to drop everything to have a 10-minute phone call with me, and vice versa.

There are too many expectations and not enough communication, and I think that this is a huge problem when entering a long distance relationship. It's probably the reason so many people have asked me if we're breaking up or not. Yeah, it's going to be tough being away from each other, but we wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't worth it.

Oh and for the record for everyone who's asked me about us breaking up, even if something were to happen, guess what? We've already talked about it.

This is an opportunity not only for me but for him too and us together. So, yes, we're staying together but it's not like that was anyone's business anyway.

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