Long-Distance Relationships Are Hard, But The Best Ones Are Worth It

Long-Distance Relationships Are Hard, But The Best Ones Are Worth It

No matter how many times we feel like we should just give up, we're given a million more reasons to stay.

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Relationships are hard. Long-distance relationships are even worse.

When I have to go more than a day without seeing my boyfriend, I almost can't bear it.

But now, with hundreds of miles between us and weeks between visits, I'm barely hanging on to my sanity.

It's moments like these that I praise the creators of FaceTime (shout-out to Roberto Garcia).

I've had friends who went to different colleges or lived a ways away, so I didn't really think this would be much different.

Boy, was I wrong.

I know it could be worse. We could be in different time zones, countries or even halfway across the world from one another. But those few hours feel eternal, especially on cold nights when I'm cuddled up in bed with his face displayed on my little screen.

Distance also has its own set of rules in real life that are very different than those I learned in math class.

You see, I was always told that distance made things appear smaller. However, it seems to have the opposite effect on disagreements. Small issues now seem monumental and completely unmanageable.

Our growth process seems to be suffocated, like there's a knot in our hose.

It's a funny thing, but it seems the more distance between two people, the tighter the reigns on their boundaries become.

There are a lot of things we would never think of doing when we were together (and within the same jurisdiction), but suddenly we have all this space and free time and it's as if the lines are a little blurred.

To make up for the distance, there are many things we have to overcompensate for. We talk more, we're more lovey-dovey (totally vomit-worthy at times), we put in more effort and give each other as much attention as possible.

When trying to focus on classes, extracurricular activities, social lives and maintaining our sanity, expending so much energy into our relationship can be very stressful.

And, of course, we mess up because we're only human.

Relationships are hard, but the best ones are worth it. And no matter how often we mess up or fall short, no matter how many times we feel like we should just give up, we're given a million more reasons to stay.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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The One Thing They Don't Tell You About Long-Distance Relationships

Don't just survive it, thrive at it.

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If you've ever been in a long-distance relationship, you've probably asked yourself more than once "Why is this happening to me? I mean… of all people, why ME?!"

Long-distance relationships aren't anyone's cup of tea because, let's face it, it sucks to be in that situation. But what if you could make it a more positive experience by being strong and developing mental fortitude?

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

Indeed, it does. But at some point, things become difficult and you feel completely stuck. If it's true love, it will always work out. You both will persevere, and you'll be two better people for it.

If it's meh or ordinary love, the chances of the long-distance relationship failing are higher. Both partners need to put in the effort to see the results, and that only happens when you really care for someone.

Distance is painful — but it gets easier over time.

There's a harsh reality that anyone who has ever been in a long-distance relationship will tell you: Insecurity will constantly play with your mind. The trust between you two will falter every now and then. Communication (or the lack thereof) will either drive you apart or closer together. The breakups won't be any easier (than the real thing). The makeups won't feel as good (as the real thing).

Fear may handcuff you. Fear may confuse you. Fear may destroy you. Don't let the "what ifs" consume you. Stay faithful and expect the same from your partner.

People will feel sorry for you to the extent that you'll start feeling sorry for yourself. However, modern-day technology will definitely help bridge the distance, so use it well.

Nothing worth having comes easy.

It takes a lot of work to keep things hot and heavy all the time, and trust me, that's what you want! But are you willing to put in the necessary ingredients to spice things up? You have to be open to trying new things, breaking out of your comfort zone every now and then.

If a couple can survive a long-distance relationship, they can practically survive anything together.

Truth be told, they aren't as problematic and unrealistic as people may think. The stress will only seep through when you let it. Long-distance relationships can be refreshing and liberating. They'll keep you busy and help you to be more independent and self-sufficient.

They'll also teach you about the importance of sacrifice, perseverance and communication. As a result, no matter how the relationship plays out, you'll be stronger and wiser for it.

Don't just survive it, thrive at it.

I love my long-distance fiancé more than life itself, so I'm willing to do anything for him.

Instead of condemning the universe, embrace the challenge and make the best out of the situation.

"Distance simply means separation in place but never in connections. Heart remains inseparable." ― DhelChen

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