I was sitting in the car with a friend the other day having a discussion about dorm life. We were driving on campus and have had conversations just like this one many times before. We both struggled a lot with adapting to college life, and living in the dorms ended up being a lot worse than we thought it would be. We talked about how we spent a lot of time alone, shut in our own rooms.
Interestingly enough, I've had these conversations with multiple friends before. Especially freshman year, I thought I was the only one who felt alone until a friend confided in me in mid-November that she had been considering leaving UK because she felt she didn't belong. About a month later, another high school friend told me the exact same thing: she was considering leaving UK. The interesting thing is that we were all involved in extracurricular and student organizations. Like, very involved. Each of us was a part of at least two groups on campus and, yet, still felt extremely individualized. Being on a big campus can cause the feeling of separation from others, and adapting to college life is rarely easy for anyone. But, one thing that stands out at UK is how many kids feel that way.
When I visited UK during the fall of my senior year of high school, I was hooked, and a big factor in that decision was the super nice dorms. The thought of never having to share a room with anyone, having a full sized bed and a whole closet all to myself screamed my name. What I didn't consider was that those benefits are what led to a lot of hardships in my freshman year experience. I didn't interact nearly as much as I should've with my roommate and fell into a habit of shutting my door and being alone. At other colleges, students share a shoebox-sized room and have tiny twin beds, but looking back, I would've taken that any day if it meant I formed stronger bonds with my roommate and dorm mates.
Another thing I realized as I visited my other friends at different colleges is that they kept the door into their room open a lot of the time. People would come in and out and peep their heads in to say hello. While being such a small thing, I noticed it really helped them to get to know the other people in their hall. The doors on our dorms were extremely heavy, even a doorstop couldn't hold them open. No one really could anyways. We didn't really have a lot of activities as a floor either that people would come to, just meetings every once in a while and our K-week group that met up maybe three times the first week of school.
I am extremely grateful to go to a school that has such nice facilities, and I don't think the isolation factor is purposeful. But, for the future, the university should really analyze how this problem could be solved. So many students are struggling with loneliness. I also take responsibility for some of the times I spent alone; I skipped events I should've gone to, didn't keep my bedroom door open, and avoided hanging out in the lobby or study room because I didn't want to seem awkwardly alone. Yet, I feel there were factors I missed out on that could've helped me know the people in my dorm better. I hope that for the sake of future students, UK can find ways for its residents to find community in the dorms.
