Dear Texas,

I miss you. I miss your year-long scorching hot temperatures. I miss your football addicted residents. I miss your street corners occupied by Tex-Mex and BBQ restaurants. I miss your constant construction on US-75 (yep, the exact construction site that caused me to cry in the car on the way to the dermatologist).

I miss your passion for all things Southern, which in all honesty was more of just passion for all things Texas. But most importantly, I miss the way you made me feel at home.

First things first, yes, you were in every sense of the word my home for eighteen years so missing you is a given but shouldn't I be used to being away? I mean it has been six months since I packed up my bags and hopped into dad's Audi for our 14-hour trek to Indiana… yet I still find myself longing to return to you.

Life without you isn't easy. It's a struggle, an uphill battle that at times leaves me gasping for air.

Without you, I feel lost, constantly searching for the person or thing that makes me feel like I belong in Indiana. Perhaps you were too good for me during those eighteen years, showering me with so much southern hospitality that I never knew how to live my life without it.

I suspect you're reading this while laughing quietly to yourself and in all honesty, I don't blame you. How could you be expected to feel bad for a girl who had previously made remarks such as "I hate Texas, this place is hick-town trash" or "I can't wait to get out of here and start my life all over" or my personal favorite "on God, once I leave Texas for college, I am NEVER coming back". Ironic isn't it, how quickly opinions can change?

Up until late July/early August of 2018, I was itching to leave you- at the time you were my worst enemy and one could argue the bane of my existence. I despised you and I was eager to forget you.

Flashforward to my freshman year at Purdue University and I have never missed anyone or anything more than I miss you. If you're curious, my first semester was fine. Thanks to CHEM 129, I managed to become so overwhelmed with academia that I never had a chance to think of how much I missed you.

Now, I could lie and say the same for the (beginning) of the second semester, but grandma always told me to "tell the truth or say nothing at all" and that's exactly what I plan on doing. I have only been back on campus for 18 days, but I truly believe that they have been the hardest 18 days I've experienced since starting my new life as a Boilermaker.

For the first 10 of the 18 days, I found myself crying on the phone as mom, dad, or Angelique tried to console me and convince me my feelings were temporary but more importantly normal.

After too many phone calls to count, I soon realized that no matter how much I miss you and how much I want to return to your vast land, I serve a bigger and perhaps even better purpose here in Hoosier State.

I believe everything happens for a reason and every choice we make will in some sense lead us to the future we have dreamt about and if becoming a CVS pharmacist means being away from you for 6 years, then so be it… I will come back eventually and everything will once again be bigger and better.

For now, my dear home state, I leave you with this: our separation was necessary, I couldn't get an opportunity this grand if I stayed with you and that's ok. You drive me to keep working, keep studying, and keep thriving. Everything I do is thanks to the drive and grit you've given me- I truly wouldn't be here without you. Texas forever!

Yours till the end of time,

Cassie Ruml