I Survived A Suicide Attempt And I Don't Think Logan Paul Deserves The Hate He's Getting
Health and Wellness

I Survived A Suicide Attempt And I Don't Think Logan Paul Deserves The Hate He's Getting

A suicide attempt survivor's point of view on Logan Paul's discovery and vlog of the man found hanging in the woods.

12466
Logan Paul Vlogs

Logan Paul is a 22-year-old American Youtube sensation. His career originally began on Vine then spread to Youtube, Instagram, Twitter, and even the big screen. Most of his vlogs are light and funny. This one post, in particular, rose the hairs on viewers’ backs, and for good reason.

Logan recently posted a vlog that took place in the "suicide forest" of Aokigahara near Mt. Fuji, Japan, which is known as a place people commit suicide. Logan and his friends figured they’d be brave and go camping there and nothing would go wrong. When they arrived, they walked off-trail, about 100 yards from the main parking lot, and discovered a man who had hung himself. They had blurred out the face of the victim to protect his identity, respectfully, and suddenly the video took a serious turn. “Shit just got so real.” Paul says, in shock, as he explains to his fans that,

“Suicide is not a joke. Depression is not a joke... we just want you guys to know if any of you are going through shit, (everyone goes through their own shit), and we’re here for you guys... we care about you... all your friends and family love and care about you and suicide is never the answer.”

This vlog, made in good intention, caused a huge uprise in the YouTube community. More than 75,000 people have signed a petition to have his channel shut down. Others are cursing him out, disrespecting him in his own feed, and flat out freaking out. What these people seem to misunderstand, is that Paul experienced something traumatizing and wanted to alert the suicidal audience that it is never the answer, that people do care about them, and that there are other options. With as many people struggling as there are today, is that really so wrong?

I’m going to get a lot of hate for posting this, but I don’t think Logan Paul deserves all the negativity he is getting.

You all can hate on me instead for standing by him, but let me tell you why my opinion on this, specifically, matters.

Growing up, I never fit in anywhere. I wasn’t girly enough, pretty enough or athletic enough. At some point in time, my only friends were my parents and the many books I kept in my room. I faced middle school pretty much alone, which, as you all know, can be brutal and terrifying. In high school, I was a little more popular, but that lifestyle led to a whole new kind of pain.

I was brutally raped by my boyfriend, didn’t know how to tell my conservative parents — or anyone for that matter — and tried to deal with it alone, ended up blaming myself, and before I knew it, I was trying to take my own life.

He told me the world would be better off without me, and I believed him. I survived that attempt, and in my freshman year of college I was battling a severely abusive relationship and tried again because I never got the help I needed beforehand.

Suicide is NEVER the answer.

Yes, sometimes it feels like you are alone, yes, sometimes it feels like nothing will ever be OK anymore, and you fake a smile and no one sees through it, but at the same time, you’re so scared to say anything about it. I get that. I do. Sometimes, we just don’t want to be here anymore.

I understand why the idea of self-harm suddenly becomes glorified in your mind. It’s like you want to focus on something physical to let go of all the emotions for a while. Or even the sight of your own blood makes you realize you’re still alive. I understand why, in extreme cases, you think putting yourself out of your misery will solve all your problems. But it doesn’t. Take it from me.

I am one of the rare people who survived my attempts of suicide. I’m not going to traumatize anyone by saying how I tried to end my life, as I understand Paul may have done by releasing footage of a hanging man.

However, I will be first to tell you that in the instant between life and death, the moment that feels like your last breath, you will freak the f*ck out and suddenly regret everything.

Just before I went under, it hit me that I was going to die.

I didn’t feel a sense of relief that everything would finally be over, I felt excruciating pain and panic. And I realized I didn’t want to die. I realized that I had a full life ahead of me, and a purpose to fulfill; I didn’t want to die miserable and alone. I wanted to die happily, when I was supposed to die, after everything in my life had turned around and in that moment, I realized that if I waited a little longer, it would have turned around. That one day, I would have been OK. But in that moment, it was too late for me.

Obviously, I didn’t die. And I have never been so happy to be alive before that moment in time when I woke up and I realized I wasn’t dead. I woke up with complete strangers around me. Cops, doctors, psychologists, the school counselor. Someone found me passed out in my dorm and called 911. I’m not sure who, but if you are reading this, thank you.

To my surprise, these “strangers” cared about me so much, all they wanted to do was help me. No one wanted to hurt me or ridicule me or chastise me for wanting to die. They understood my pain and wanted to teach me how to cope with it, and they did help. They helped so much.

And today, instead of wanting to die, I’m chasing my dreams, deciding on happiness, and thriving.

I wish I had gotten that help beforehand. I wouldn’t have struggled nearly as much as I did. The sun would have come up so much quicker. So please, if anyone reading this today is struggling with themselves, you are free to reach out to me. You are free to reach out to your parents, your friends, your family, or places of worship. We all care about you. You are a human life so much more precious than you will ever understand, that despite what anyone tells you, no one wants to lose you. The world is not better off without you. In fact, something vital to the world around you will be so desperately missing. You won’t be helping anyone, and definitely not yourself, if you decide to do this.

So, I firmly stand by Logan Paul on his stance against suicide. I respect his ideas and opinions, as well as I would do the same for you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

13 Father's Day Shirts Under $30 To Gift The Dad Wearing The Same Two Every Day In Quarantine

You've been begging him to change it up, and now he won't have a choice.

Let's be honest: most of our dads are wearing the same shirts today that they probably wore while changing our diapers and holding our hands as we learned to walk. Sure, we love them for it. But whether you're quarantined with him wearing the same two shirts on rotation every week, or every time you FaceTime him, you know what he'll be wearing before he answers the phone, he needs to add some new items to his wardrobe rotation.

And you know dads — they'll feel guilted into using practically anything you were to give them. But these shirts are sure-fire ways to get him to switch up his wardrobe, and he'll be more than excited to wear each and every one of them. Plus, most of them are under twenty dollars, so no harm in dropping more than a couple in to your cart and letting Dad have his pick of his favorites.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down (Virtually) With Hollis Tuttle To Talk About Coronavirus's Impact On The Wellness Industry

Just because coronavirus has greatly impacted the wellness industry doesn't mean wellness stops.

If you're anything like me, your weekly fitness classes are a huge part of your routine. They keep me fit, healthy, and sane. Honestly, these classes help my mental health stay in tip-top shape just as much as they help my physical health.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, gyms and fitness studios are facing temporary closure. Yes, this means my personal routine is thrown a curveball, but this also means the wellness industry is one of many that is looking at unemployment and hardship. Do I miss my Monday spin class? Of course. But do the wellness professionals whose worlds were flipped upside down have a lot more to overcome than a slight change of routine? Absolutely. Thankfully, if anyone can prove the ultimate flexibility, it's the wellness industry.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

My Boyfriend Has Changed Since Quarantine Began, And I Don't Know What To Do

"All he says is 'I love you,' which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him."

Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

Dear Swoonie B,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, which has been the best year of my life (as far as i know). Well we go to different schools and are both very involved in sports and school activities which makes it hard to see each other. During this quarantine it is especially hard. Since we haven't seen each other in over a week things are kind of tense. He won't really talk to me much and I always check in on him to make sure he is doing well and to just see how he is, ya know being a girlfriend. Well apparently that is driving him crazy and I don't understand how. I'm not being controling or clingy, i'm just checking in on him. While this is happening, I also have noticed how he just doesn't really care anymore. I'll leave him paragraphs of sweet love letters to wake up to and I encourage him throughout his day but I just don't get it in return. I love him with all of me and I obviously care about him a lot. Also, I've compared how he talked to me before all of this has happened. He was so sweet and caring, texting me a lot and telling me he loves me and just making sure everything is OK but he doesn't do that anymore. All he says is "I love you," which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him. He is a little stressed at home with trying to find another job to pay for his car, constantly having to do things for his mom, being responsible for his siblings, and managing school. I know thats a lot but im doing a lot too right now and going through a lot of the same stuff he is but It seems to me he just does not care and i don't know what to do. Please help me or give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do. Anything at this point will help. Thank you!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "these are unprecedented times," I'd be rich. But that's because it's true!

Keep Reading... Show less
Tower 28

On paper, Amy Liu appears to be one of the most intimidating women in the beauty business. Not only did she launch her beauty marketing career at legendary Smashbox Cosmetics, she went on to lead luxury, high-end brands like Kate Somerville and Josie Maran — just to name a few.

But sitting down to meet Liu for the first time in an underground New York bar over a year ago felt like meeting a friend I'd known since childhood. As she walked into the bar in a chic red dress, it was impossible not to feel her immediate warm presence. When she talks about her history as an entrepreneur (and truly, at heart, she always was one), you don't get the sense that she's selling you anything, though with her impeccable taste, I'd use anything that had her glowing review attached to it.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sixth grade was the year that you were allowed to participate in a school sport. This was what my friends and I had all been waiting for since we started middle school. I had already made the cheer team with my friends, but I had to wait to start that in the winter since we cheered for basketball. I really wanted to have some sort of activity in the fall, but I did not know what to do. Somehow, I decided to run cross country. Not really sure how I decided on a sport where it was quite literally just running. A few of my friends were doing it as well, so I knew it was going to be fun.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Working Out Every Day During Quarantine Helps Me Feel A Sense Of Control

Physical activity helps my mental health in a world that feels uncertain.

Before the pandemic, I exercised a handful of times a week at best. In quarantine, I've been exercising every single day. I don't want this article to be another spiel about how exercise "changed my life," and all the other cliches that health gurus use to convince others to work out more. Rather, I want to reveal that exercise is a tool that works for me because it boosts my mental health when I feel like the world is spiraling out of control.

Keep Reading... Show less

To say that 2020 has been a bit of a roller coaster is an extreme understatement. Who knew that this decade was going to start off like THIS!? Not me, not you, and not that sweet old lady who lives down the street. One thing is certain though — while the world may be a mess right now, you can still fuel your body with food that keeps you happy and healthy. Thankfully, as we are all spending more time inside, you can get healthy snacks delivered straight to your front door! Amazon has never been more convenient (and tasty).

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments