What It's Like Being Out Of Shape And Out Of Hope

I'm currently on lock down, trapped within a body I don't even recognize anymore. In the last three years, the pounds have continued to pile on and I've begun to feel like a prisoner within my own body. It didn't happen overnight it started with a honey bun here and a quesadilla there and by the time I looked up I was 40 lbs overweight. The dilemma caused me to not want to buy new clothes facing myself in the dressing room mirror was almost unbearable. Cute clothes turned into loose fitting t-shirts and sweats on the daily.

Next, my health started to suffer I went from being able to work every day to not being able to do one push-up and being winded walking up 6th street. My asthma got worse, And I became pre-diabetic. I was always tired and I had no energy for anything beyond what was absolutely required of me.The fat seemed to grow as did my list of excuses and reasons I concocted to make myself feel better. Things like: "you look fine", "back fat Betty is a myth", or "your asthma has always been bad."

Every day I woke up determined to make a change but the energy was zapped after lunch. I began to feel suffocated and trapped within my own body. I felt paralyzed like I was unable to make healthy choices. It was at this point that another weight loss mission was down the drain. It didn't matter how many weight loss videos I tried, or how many diets I tried, I just couldn't change my eating habits and I couldn't break the undergrad flab. This served to frustrate me even more which caused me to eat even more.

One day I decided enough was enough I needed a real change. I decided to do the biggest loser challenge a 6-week challenge designed to help a group of young women lead a better lifestyle. I'm currently three weeks in some days are harder than others but I'm determined to lead a healthier lifestyle. I'm determined to free myself from this prison of forgotten willpower, stretch marks, lost self-esteem, excuses, gluttony, and fear of pushing myself to the limits.

With each day I feel myself taking back some of my control and little by little I'm getting my life back. Although I'm still on this weight loss journey I need all the prayers and coaching I can get this is really the hardest fight of my life. as you are traveling along your path to health I encourage you to get active and don't give up. I encourage you to rediscover the person hiding under the weight and most importantly don't allow your weight to weigh you down spiritually or physically. To a healthier lifestyle.