If anyone knows me best, it's my mother. Even at 5 years old and 3.5 feet tall, she knew the persistent and planned obsessed little girl in front of her - one that always dreamed five times more than she should; that little naive girl whose plans always failed to include her own imperfections. I guess you can call it a hobby of mine, but unfortunately, unlike many my age, I always seem to think with the mentality that time is running out and that I'm running against the hour hand and the minute hand in a survivor race, trying to beat the time.

Despite how much my extensive planning has worked out so far, it's time for a change. But I find myself not knowing exactly how to change. This is the way I've always been: persistent in time, but five steps ahead. I planned for college since the 6th grade, knowing which states I wanted to apply to, which career I wanted, what long-term goals were on my list, and which short-term goals were most valuable. But to be honest, it's mentally tiring and frustrating. Not only have I made myself out to believe that I'm a failure of some sort or lacking in the ability to accomplish my current goals, but it also makes me value the present less.

Here I am at an amazing college, already in my second year, only 18, but stressing over what I'm going to do after undergrad from PA school or medical school, family or no family, stay or move again. My head spins faster than a clock - every day. Not only have I missed the time to enjoy some beautiful moments of the start of my college career, but I have completely psyched myself out and stressed myself more than I need to, constantly thinking that I need to be somewhere else in my life. And that comes completely from looking over at the grass of the other side and thinking it's greener.

My advice to those that are new to life after high school is not to be like me. Live life young, bold, and free. Your youth is a blessing, as is mine, and do not psych yourself out about it. College is not the only avenue to the goals you want to accomplish in your life, but there are also many other ways from trade school to certificate programs that can help you to achieve your goals stress-free. I am now learning to take things slow because my mental health is more important than trying to accomplish things in such a short time. Value your short-term goals, value your time now, and value the experiences along the way, whether good or bad. They are all beautiful experiences that will help to shape you into a beautiful individual later on. It's not an easy journey, but it's a new experience, and if you find yourself in this situation, please feel bold enough to reach out to those around you for help. Its better than reaching a point of desperation.