Dear Future Baby, I'm Already In Love With You

Dear Future Baby, I'm Already In Love With You

My heart is already so full of love and your worth even though you aren't here yet.

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Even though I don't know you yet, I already love you with my whole heart. Someday you will be more than a dream; you will be a living reality. I don't know what will happen in between now and when you're born, but I can't wait to meet you. It doesn't matter if you are a girl, boy, learn differently or look differently than others. It doesn't matter if you are long or short, tiny or a cute little chunk. It doesn't matter if you look like me, your Daddy, both of us or have a look completely your own. You will be special and perfect, because you will be mine and because you are human.

Nothing could make you less human, less perfect, or less mine.

As long as your heart is beating and you are breathing, nothing else will matter more to me. The circumstances and timing surrounding the beginning of your life will not determine whether you are wanted and loved. It doesn't matter where I am or what I may have to give up, you will be completely worth it. There will never come a day when all lives are not precious or valued to me.

You will be given a chance to live and love this beautiful life.

I am deeply saddened that I can't give this to every little one who doesn't get a chance. I will speak for you and protect you until you can for yourself. I will do everything in my power to see that you are never harmed. With me, you will be safe, understood and loved unconditionally.

I hope one day in the future that I am able to be blessed with the gift that I'm certain you will be. I can't wait to hold you in my arms and tell you all the words that I've had in my heart for so long. When I look into a little one's eyes, I am reminded of you too and the person you will become. You will cry and you will laugh.

You will learn to walk and you will crawl. You will fall, but I will help you get up. You will be afraid, but you will also be brave. You will learn and you will grow through all the choices you make and the person you become. I can't wait to meet you and be a part of that.

Even when it's dark, you don't have to be afraid because I'll be right there.

I'll hold your hand and walk with you until you don't need me to anymore. And whenever you're older, if you need me, I will be there too. I'll always just be a phone call, visit, and hug away from you. I may not be able to be your side all the time when you're older, but I will carry you with me in my heart. We will walk through your first day of school, first heartbreak, first time pursuing your dreams and more — together.

It will be OK even when the world seems to be falling apart; we have One holding us that will mend it. God will be there and I promise I'll be there too.

The world and the people in it can be cold and cruel, but don't let that scare you. You can be both soft and strong if you keep your kindness. Showing love and serving others can go a long way. It may not change the situation every time, but it will always change you. Keep hope and love in your pocket for yourself and for others.

It doesn't take a lot, but it does take one person to start. There will be days you need it. It makes a difference and will help to make the world a sunnier place. I believe in you and can't wait to see the impact you make.

You can turn rain to sunshine when you see all the negativity, but choose to focus on the positive.

Life won't be easy, but you can come to me about anything and we can face it together. I know all the stories that have made me who I am today, and you will have those too. You can confide in me about the mistakes you made, the weaknesses you have or the secrets you keep.

There isn't anything too small or too big for you to bring up. I wish I could fix everything wrong with this world and protect you from all the hurt and darkness. While I can't always do that, I can be someone you can rely on to listen and care.

I will never regret loving you fully or how much I am trusted with in return.

I will be your safe place no matter how young, old, small, or big you grow. You will always be one of my greatest and sweetest gifts and I hope to be that for you too.

Darling, no matter who you become and where you go, I want you to never forget how much you matter. You are never alone, regardless of what others make you feel like and what the lies in your head tell you.

Little does not mean, and never will mean, worthless.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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5 Harmful Things We Say To Our Daughters Without Even Realizing It

Nature versus nurture makes a huge difference.

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"Public issue or personal problem" was first coined by C. Wright Mills as the "sociological imagination." This basically means that often what we assume at first glance to be the individual's shortcomings actually point to a larger social issue. In other words, nature vs. nurture.

Today, the most common argument against feminism is that men and women are just made differently, plain and simple. And in some ways, this is true. Biologically, there are differences. But I think it is just wrong to say that generalized and umbrella stereotypes about women's personalities and emotions stem from something inherent in us that makes us inferior to men. I think a lot of it has to do to how we are raised in a society with rampant indoctrinated sexism.

I'll prove it: below, you'll see five common things that we say to our daughters (and, with slightly different wordings, to our sons) which completely form how girls see themselves and how they learn to behave.

1. "He's mean to you because he likes you."

This is a common explanation when little girls as young as 5 complain about boys bullying them on the playground. This may seem innocent enough, but actually, it teaches girls from a very young age to associate affection and love with violence or meanness. So, it's no surprise that women are assumed to be meek and men are supposed to be physically assertive! When you tell girls how to behave from a young age, in this case, to let a boy be mean to you and don't stand up for yourself, it's no surprise that society at large reflects these trends.

2. "One day you'll find your Prince Charming!"

This statement implies that something is missing from girls' lives, that they need someone else to make them whole! Basically, it implies that the kingdom cannot work without the prince. But girls are their own princesses, not damsels in distress, so we should be teaching them that one day, they will become their own queens, and that's enough.

3. "Calm down."

This is a popular joke and meme that serves even more to belittle women for having emotions. We've all seen (or most likely if you're a girl, been called) stories of "hysterical women." But the truth is, there is no shame in sharing emotions, and there is no embarrassment or hysteria in reacting to frustrating situations. Our society associates emotion with women and logic with men, but they should not be mutually exclusive.

4. Any reference ever to our biology.

If you're not a girl, you'd be shocked and dismayed at how many times a woman's period is brought up in conversation. But news flash, just because I disagree with you doesn't mean I'm hormonal. Since I can remember, my biology, my menstrual cycle, and other parts of my physique have been considered a downfall, a struggle, and a handicap. But why do we have to think of them this way? My physical body may be "nature" but the way people react to it, the discomfort that all men have when talking about periods and tampons (Also, why?) and many more situations like this are all instances of "nurture," of society's discriminatory perspective of the sexes.

5. "Boys will be boys."

This is again bad for girls because it tells them that boys get a free pass for everything they do wrong, while girls are expected to be in constant control. BUT, this is also really bad for boys; they are taught that they are incapable of self-control, and, like animals, rely on only instinct. We are stifling boys by keeping them from reaching their true capacity because we tell them and everyone around them that when it comes to girls, sex, etc., they just can't help but obey their biology. But let me ask you this: if society is right and there is something naturally different about men and women (that also makes men superior), why is it that they can't even be expected to respect "no means no'"?

Making change starts at the nuclear level. We have to start watching what we say to our daughters, because if we can correct the problem before it even starts if we can reroute patterns that haven't been created yet, it will start getting easier and easier to move toward equality.

Patriarchal systems are just as bad for men as they are for women, whether we realize that or not. And the truth is, there is a huge need for men to advocate for women's rights. One thing we don't realize is that equality isn't a finite value like a pizza — it's not as though if I, a girl, got a slice, my male counterpart wouldn't get one! We are one human race, and what is good for some of us is actually good for us all.

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