Whether we are staring at our cell phones, computers, iPads, or have headphones glued to our ears, we are becoming less and less accustomed to listening to other people. We think that we are listening because we are retweeting, replying, and commenting, but when it comes to in-person, human interaction, we are surely lacking.
There is a quote from author Stephen R. Covey that reads, "most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply." I am finding that this is the case with our generation, and while I am not trying to generalize, I know at least I am guilty of it. While it is something that I have been working on for quite some time, I still find it difficult to listen first without jumping in.
I often want to offer a solution to the problem as quickly as possible, as if to prove that I know all of the answers. But what I miss out on when I do that is actually listening to what that person has to say. We are often so wrapped up in our own heads that we hear the first sentence or two and then zone out, focusing on ourselves and how WE could solve the problem FOR someone else.
Yet, when I think about venting to my family or friends, I am usually not looking for answers or solutions. I am looking for an ear, a shoulder to lean on; just someone to actually listen to me. I do not have an end goal for every conversation or a quest to find the answers to all of life's questions. I simply want someone to just listen to what I have to say.
With the introduction of social media and its widespread usage over the past few years, we are becoming accustomed to seeing or hearing a question and immediately offering up as much information as we have on the subject. Apps like Twitter and Facebook are breeding know-it-alls and killing off good listeners, who listen before jumping in with a seemingly perfect solution.
I know that I may just be speaking for myself, but I see it happening every single day, both in person and online. I hear people talking over their friends, offering up opinions when they were not even asked to. And I see the same thing happening online, but by strangers and anonymous faces.
We are slowly but surely losing the skill of being good friends and family members, good coworkers and Good Samaritans to strangers, simply because we cannot remember how to listen to them. I think that we need to work on hearing people out first without trying to prove a point like we do on every Facebook post or tweet that we know even the slightest bit of information about.
