"You're ripped at every edge, but you're a masterpiece." -Halsey
Colors are a romanticized metaphorical expression of a person’s inner state, the root of their substance, an intangible essence, the elements that make up or break down their spirit.
In college, it is extremely easy to become consumed by the various pressures, attitudes, obligations, and expectations held over us by parents, peers, clubs, and more importantly, ourselves. Oh boo hoo, we get to attend a world class institution and receive an education that is beyond the reach of many around the world, right? Just because we hold a privilege that many are not fortunate to achieve does not mean our struggles within that frame aren't important. Being healthy in all aspects of the mind, body, soul, aura, spirit, is far more meaningful and imperative in fulfilling our deepest desires and aspirations than meeting the expectations of others.
Many of us take on various obligations, desperately trying to upkeep these expectations, not to lose the respect or recognition that those depending on us bestow us with, but more importantly, we do it to prove fiercely to ourselves that we can. We're killing ourselves and our minds in the process. Full-time at work, full-time in school, perhaps a club or two? Maybe we suffer from depression or a deep-rooted emotional trauma.
We believe we are resilient, and we are, yet we also wear our denial on our sleeve. We chain our demons to a cinderblock, drowning them beyond our grasp into an abyss far below the clean surface, hoping that they don’t float back up. But they do. They manifest into something much larger than they originally evolved as. Like the Dementors in "Harry Potter," they consume human happiness and fight with a vengeance, leaving us with no choice but to engage in a bloody battle against them. But despite all of this, the hardest part is admitting they even exist.
We are our own greatest enemy. We are the first to criticize our visible seams and the last to admire the overall masterpiece. We are afraid to say “no” or to admit it when our limits have been exceeded. The truth is that it's okay to not be okay, and chances are, we're not alone even in our loneliest bouts of isolation. There’s a place we need to reach where we recognize and face our vulnerabilities instead of depriving ourselves of our emotions with endless things, substances, people, and distractions. There's nothing sadder than a person devoid of color and vitality, but filled with toxicity and denial. Just because the surface is vividly lilac doesn’t mean the bottom is too. Listen to your colors and let them drip, whether they have an overcast hue or a radiant luster.
