Whether we like it or not, getting into arguments with those who are close to us (our parents, friends, significant other, etc.) are inevitable. It’s impossible to agree with others constantly especially when we have our own opinions on certain things. However, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to solve these issues when they come up.
I’m going to be honest here… I have a pretty short temper. It doesn’t take too much to make me angry or annoyed. Regardless of this, I’m a type of person who likes to solve conflicts as soon as possible, whenever the timing is appropriate. I don’t like staying mad or annoyed and I strongly believe that no one should ever go to sleep while upset with another person.
As morbid as this may sound, we never know what can happen and we don’t want the possibility of waking up and discovering that a loved one has passed away. Therefore, my belief is we should solve our conflicts (or at least come to some sort of agreement/compromise/etc.) before the day is over and move on to the best of our abilities.
Unfortunately, when it’s time to discuss the issues at hand, the mood is already tense and both people (or multiple people) involved are already on edge. This just makes it easier for every person to blow up or get even more ticked off. I can definitely vouch for that… again, I have a short fuse, which is definitely something I need to work on.
With all of this being said, it’s extremely important to remember one thing when we get into arguments with our loved ones.
Listen to understand. Not to respond.
My boyfriend said this to me the other day after we got into an argument and I realized that he was right. I had been so focused on trying to find faults in his argument so I could retaliate with my own words that I failed to listen to what he was actually saying. Everything was going in one ear and out the other, simply because I was too stubborn to take a step back and think about what he was actually saying to me.
Of course, this goes both ways. Nobody's perfect. I’m not. He’s not. No one is.
But if both of us can take a short breather and try to listen and understand what the other person is saying, the conflicts that we get ourselves into might not last for as long as they do. We have to take the time to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and see where they’re coming from.
So when you’re arguing with your parents, your sibling, your friend, your significant other, or whoever, remember this. Listen to understand. Not to respond.
Stop trying to constantly prove that you’re right and be the bigger person and try to solve the issue. Admit your faults and discuss what you can do better in the future. Like I said -- no one is perfect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try to be the best possible person.
Focus your time and your energy on bringing about positive vibes. Don’t focus your time and your energy on arguing and trying to nitpick every little comment.
Within this upcoming week, month, year, etc., if you get into an argument with a loved one, remember to take a step back and realize that there are bigger and more important things to focus on.