ending
the simple words
"i love you"
can strip the world of its cruelty
and for a moment,
make it seem as if
everything will be okay.
even when the words are murmured
on the phone at 12:11 a.m.
accompanied by the deadline
that leaves you
empty
oatmeal
he used to be the one who told me
he was reminded of me
when he ate peanut butter with his oatmeal.
he was the one who told me
that even though I saw myself as unworthy,
he loved me as I was.
he was once the one who told me
that even though we were both broken,
we could love with the broken pieces.
he was the boy who told me
that I should just accept his love
even though I thought I didn't deserve it.
he was the boy that told me
that things changed
and that i hurt him
by doing what i thought would we best for both of us
so he is now the boy that tells me
he used to love me.
used to want to give me the broken pieces of him
to make me whole.
he is the boy that once told me
he would think of me when he heard an awful love song.
smiled when he saw my name
light up his phone screen.
called me "lil gecko"
because he loved geckos,
just as he once loved me.
he is the boy that told me
that he once thought of me
when he ate his oatmeal with peanut butter
but does not anymore
because oatmeal with peanut butter
is just that.
light
even in the darkest of times,
you can see the light.
even if it's 11:12 pm
and the only light there is
is the shitty orange toned light
coming from the low-quality bulbs residing in the parking lot light posts,
shining enough light on you
for you to see that you are smiling
and that there is a little pond at your feet.
shining enough light on you
for you to see that you are free
and that even though this is a fleeting moment,
you're genuinely happy.
even in the darkest of times,
you can hear the music.
even if it's 11:12 pm
and the only music there is
is the buzz coming from the shitty orange lightbulbs
residing in the parking lot light posts,
humming to the sporadic rhythm of the rain,
giving you a song to dance to.
to laugh to.
you feel like a kid again
letting the completely mundane things
like dancing in the rain at 11:12 pm
bring a feeling of
freedom,
happiness,
euphoria.
