When I was younger, I had really straight, silky smooth light/medium brown hair. I loved it, but I always wished I had curly hair. I would always curl my hair with a curling iron and pin in back. For the longest time, I liked my hair, but I thought it was beginning to just look boring.

My hair began to gain volume and just look more frizzy, it was heavy too. I began to look at everybody around me and wish that my hair could still be straight or just not look frizzy all the time. I think a lot of me feeling that way was influenced by everybody around me. I wanted to fit in more. Some would tell me I would look "better" if I straightened my hair, so in middle school, I began to straighten my hair every single day. I was never one to really conform to what everybody else was doing. Never wearing the clothes other girls would wear, never wore makeup (still don't), but I felt I had to change the way I looked; I felt that my hair was my favorite feature and if it didn't look good, I didn't feel good. Here's the thing: I was pretty bad at straightening my hair. I had A LOT of hair so whenever I would straighten my hair, I would miss the underneath back part so after a few hours you could tell that my hair wasn't fully straightened… I would end up putting it up in a bun most days.

Then, I discovered packets of Kool-Aid. It probably was one of the worst things I could do to my hair, but if I soaked the tips of my hair in warm water and fruit punch Kool-Aid, it would stay in my hair for a while! It gave it red color and I LOVED it. I did it all too often, so the more I dyed and straightened my hair, the more I damaged it. I need to make a change.

In high school, we went to a hair stylist and she cut seven inches of dead ends off, then she showed me how to shape my growing curls. I thought I could really do something with my hair now. I convinced my mom and decided to dye my hair. It's called ombre, so lighter colors blended into my darker hair. I really liked it and I had it all throughout high school. I loved the idea of coloring my hair and I really wanted to dye it different colors. My parents thought it wasn't the greatest idea, but I proceeded to do it anyway.

Blonde hairPhoto by Alana Charboneau

Right as I entered my first year of college, I dyed my hair PINK. It was awesome. Being that I could finally control the shape of my hair, I loved everything about it. After I had my hair pink for a while, I decided I could dye it a bunch of different colors.

Pink hairPhoto by Alana Charboneau

When I dyed my hair different colors, it made me feel more like myself. I felt more able to express myself in different, colorful, and artistic ways. Feeling more accepting of the way I looked helped me to feel better and want to a better person, like it opened my mind to a whole different world. I didn't care about the thought of people judging me because it was just color! It can come out, duh.

My hair was blonde again until a few days ago. I came back from Labor Day weekend and just straight dyed my hair blue. It has been healthy for a long time now and I am so grateful for the people who have supported me and given me the confidence to be able to express myself in different ways.

Blue hairPhoto by Alana Charboneau and Hannah Fredricks

With this ability to express myself in a more fun and loving way, I wish that everybody could feel that way about themselves too. It's easier than most people think and you live happier when you're less worried about what everybody else thinks. Some may think it is hard to be able to really express yourself in a world that seems to make everything impossible or fake, but I have gone my whole life remembering that I am my own person and nobody can tell me what I should change because my happiness is only determined by me.

Love who you want!

Wear what you want!

Live how you want!

Most important: focus on being happy and healthy!