I am a firm believer that your life will follow in the light of your own thoughts. We as society create this idea that there is this “perfect life” that we all have to obtain, whether that be our minds being overtaken by negative thoughts or your negative thoughts that are then drowning every positive thought you ever had about life in general.

We live in a world now where it’s ok to have your own opinions, beliefs, emotions and those things will definitely shape your life but to create something beautiful out of it is something I have you have to learn in order to have a happy life.

Spoken beautifully by one of my favorite authors, Jen Sincero said, “Your thoughts and beliefs dictate your reality, so if you want to change your reality, you have to change your beliefs.” Here are the five thoughts I have on life that have shaped my reality:

1. Say “yes” more.

Being a ‘No Man’ can create more fears and worries for you rather than being a ‘Yes Man.’ You don’t get anywhere in life by saying no. I’m not talking about being the man or woman who is the first to raise their hand to volunteer, or always being the kiss a** in any situation but rather being the influential, driven person that wants to make a difference in their lives.

Reach for the sky! Go travel the world, take risks, go get your dream job, and lead with your heart. Do the things that scare you the most because even if you fall right on your face, there is room for growth and maybe you’ll be on the start of an adventure.

We all have passions and things we want to try. Sometimes we sit in our shadow and keep our desires hidden. Don’t back down from going after your passions and pursue the yes in your life.

2. Appreciate and enjoy what you already have.

BE IN THE NOW! Of course, you need to continuously strive for the better and always aspire for more but what I’m saying is to enjoy the amount of success you have accomplished rather than feeling bad about yourself for the things you have still yet to achieve.

I am always trying to push myself to reach higher and achieve my goals but failure to achieve those goals shouldn’t spoil the enjoyment I already have. Sometimes I get caught up in the world we live in and I forget to live in the moment and I forget about our happiness.

So next time you say to yourself, “I’ll be happy when I get there” or “I’ll be happy when I get this” be happy for how far you’ve come and the things that you have right now. Said by Oprah Winfrey, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

Have gratitude in the things you have accomplished and realize that now, you have enough and that you are enough. Reach for the stars, set goals, be kind, grow, learn and celebrate the moments that you have right now and when you do that comes internal happiness and joy from within.

3. There’s no point in trying to compare your life to others.

Trust me, I am so guilty of this. There are times where I sit on Instagram for hours stalking this ‘perfect’ couple, with their ‘perfect’ house, living on the ‘perfect’ beach, in ‘perfect’ Aruba, doing everything ‘perfect.’ But then I sit back want to hit myself for it because I need to be more thankful.

Be thankful for the things you have because odds are, if you are reading this you have a lot more to be thankful for than most people. There is only one of you, so why waste your time trying to compare your life to others? Just be yourself.

The tendency to compare ourselves to others is human and we can’t help it most of the time. But it is one of those emotions that rips the joy in our lives away from us. Every human on this planet has too many qualities that are too unique to compare.

The things you learn and the gifts that you have are shaped for your specific purpose in the world. I tend to lose my drive and my passion when I compare my life to others. I want to give up on the sole fact that I think I’ll never have a life like the people I follow of Instagram but I have to change my thought process so I can be the best version of myself.

Commit to reaching that internal growth each day. Learn to praise the moments in your life without comparing them to others.

4. Always keep your “inner child” alive.

Life is not supposed to be serious all of the time. I certainly don’t think so anyway. I am the type of person that wants to create a fun environment for everyone and to keep situations light and energetic.

Children are always going to be the ones to live their lives fully, forgive fast, depend on love, and above all else, they speak the truth. I think we all know that one kid out there that says some funny, yet very truthful statement.

For instance, “You have a pimple on your forehead.” And while you are thinking to yourself, “Really? I had NO idea!!” you have to just smile because they don’t hide their feelings about anything. We, as adults tiptoe around our thoughts and feelings and try to understand a deeper meaning.

Being an adult is hard work, so why not embarrass yourself a little bit and occasionally indulging in being child-like? I’m not telling you to forget your responsibilities and stop being accountable but making sure you loosen up and live for a second.

Ask yourself how can I use my inner child to approach my life and my relationships more honestly and create a better life for myself.

5. Seek self-love.

I personally think self-love is the most important to take away. You need to appreciate how special you are. There are so many things instilled in you that make up who you are. People always say that you can’t learn how to love others unless you truly love yourself from the inside out.

Get out and make time for the things you love. One of the things that have helped me the most with generating self-love has been to ditch the self-deprecating humor about myself. Of course, you always need to learn to laugh at yourself but constantly putting bad thoughts in your head about yourself is mentally draining you of your own greatness.

Don’t sit and sulk in an “I suck” fest because what’s the fun in that? What you tell yourself on a daily basis can be more impactful than you know. So let the love in and push the self-hate out! Love yourself because it is the key to your own happiness.