The one thing I love about being in college is that you are constantly discovering yourself. Of course this continues on after college, however, this is the time in which you're being exposed to all new realities and situations for the first time. This is the time when you get to really and truly mold who you're going to be. I think that's so amazing.

Going into my junior year I decided to give church and Jesus a try because I want to be an open-minded person. I want to grow, experience, and understand. The whole idea of "Jesus" and a supreme God was awkward for me. I was in love with the idea of there being a supreme being that knows me by name, however, I needed more than just faith. I needed proof, which is why I'm such a fan of science. Hello, science is literally my major!

I began going to church and I fell completely in love with it. I began to fall in love with the people, the culture, the spirituality, and God himself. However, I was so consumed with being the "perfect Christian" that I was constantly guilt-ridden. I always felt like I was just burdened with sin and that I was at the hands of a condemning and judging God. At night I would just lay in bed and cry because I was so upset about who I was. I didn't like people telling me I was doing the wrong thing in God's eyes. I just wanted to do what made me happy.

So what was my response?

I left the church and I left God.

I just pushed everything and everyone away. I focused on myself and my happiness, and everything was amazing. However, now I feel this constant urge to go back to church and reconnect with God.

But can I really be myself and have a relationship with God? Do I need to conform myself to what the church and the Bible say? Many Christians would say yes.

However, I disagree.

I believe that people should focus on spirituality instead of religion. We need to get back to what Jesus preached, which focused on loving each other and loving Him. Not how many rules Jim in the back row on Sunday broke throughout the week.

For the longest time, I was convinced that we lived under the rule of a judging and condemning God. It's actually quite the opposite. We live under the love of a forgiving, compassionate, and generous God.

Does this mean we should abandon everything Christianity is founded on? Definitely not. However, I believe that we should morph it for the individual rather than the community. We should focus on having an individual relationship with Him rather than worrying about how many rules we might break or follow.

We should learn to have the church revolve around our lives, rather than have our lives revolve around the church. This relationship is between you and God, no one else. Do not let anyone condemn you and tell you that God does not love you because of what you are doing.

The truth of the matter is, we all have sin. We all live with it because all sin is the same in His eyes. Once we understand that living with sin is just part of being a human, we can learn to just accept the fact that we are not perfect. We are flawed creatures, and no one is going to match the reputation of Jesus.

But you know what? He loves you regardless of how well you follow his rules. He does not determine how much he loves you based on those minor details. He loves you because he is God and he created you.

It took me a long time to overcome this feeling of constant guilt. I was always comparing myself to other people and told myself that I'm no one because I was incapable of following his rules. Yet, Jesus never thought I was no one. He sat there patiently waiting for me to come back to Him and realize that He was just waiting for me to understand that we have a special connection that is unlike what He has with anyone else.

You have your own relationship with Him, as do I. We need to learn how to live a life filled with His relationship with us rather than consume ourselves with trying to be perfect through worldly baggage and situations.