For anyone who has seen a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks novel, you understand the bittersweet feeling of watching a beautiful relationship grow on-screen while you sit alone on your couch eating Doritos. You might feel dissatisfied with your average, loveless, drama-free existence. You might wish real life was like that. But, I'm here to tell you: the Nicholas Sparks life is not what it seems. In fact, considering most of the facts, it would probably suck.

1. It would be summertime all the time.

In the world of Nicholas Sparks, it often seems that summertime is the only time that love can bloom. It sounds nice at first, but if you enjoy the change of seasons — and not sweating all the time — this could present a problem for you.

2. Someone would probably disapprove of your relationship.

Most likely a parent or another family member, and most likely their disapproval stems from either you or your significant other's financial status or family history. There would be a lot of fighting going on because you're a teenager living in the South with either a lot of money or no money, and Nicholas Sparks only wants bad things for you.

3. Every time it rains, you would have to make out with someone.

This is not a joking matter. Is it humid outside? Is there a chance it could turn into precipitation? Better go find your boyfriend/girlfriend. Because when water falls from the sky, Nicholas Sparks demands passion.

Every.

Time.

4. You would probably have to do some stupid stuff on the beach.

When was the last time you wanted to lay down on the sand, in jeans, and have a boy slowly and painstakingly outline your entire body with seashells? Never? Same.

Additionally, when was the last time you wanted to spend precious time at the beach trying to convince your boyfriend or girlfriend that you are, indeed, a bird?

So much time. So much energy. All going to waste.

5. Someone you love would probably have to die.

This is Nicholas Sparks, after all. Someone's gotta die to add to the romance of it all. In my opinion, it's far better to keep your life boring and romance-free because then everyone you care about could stay alive. That bag of Doritos and your couch are definitely way more appealing than tragedy.