If you love "Friends," you know Phoebe is sometimes an overlooked character when compared to Rachel. We all love Jennifer Aniston, it's a fact!
1. If you don’t like something, don’t do it!
And that is the absolute truth. Phoebe gives it to you straight, and you’re never left wondering what the reasons for her actions are, no matter how odd they might be. Perhaps it’s time we all become a little bit more like Phoebe! People judge the millennial generation for being “too lazy” and having “no motivation to do their own work,” but I feel that often times, it’s because we have too much on our plate. Phoebe reminds us that if you don’t want to do something, then you shouldn’t waste your efforts. When we do work that we are actually passionate about, it is then that we put in the extra energy, the extra practice and the extra time. It’s not to say that there will be things in life that we really don’t want to do even when we know it’s good for us. Everybody should have to do their share, but feeling pressured into doing something you really have no passion for is just wasting time. If you don’t put your whole self into it, then you’re not going to get a whole lot out of it.
2. Love one another.
Maybe it’s because of her mother’s suicide, or maybe it’s because she lived part of her life homeless on the streets with Albino Bob, but Phoebe Buffay is one of the most accepting human beings on the face of the earth. She teaches us that as long as you have kindness in your soul, you’re doing it right. Phoebe accepts people from all walks of life, and I think that is extremely admirable. Just like Phoebe, I feel that everyone has something he or she can offer. Put aside your judgments and start looking at people as other people rather than the choices they make. Get to know them. Start a conversation. It’s not hard! I promise that if you sit with a person long enough, you will find something in common. When we find a similarity, compassion is gained. Compassion leads to love, and well, I think that’s what this world needs a little bit more of: love.
3. Don’t have your life figured out? That’s OK.
Do you ever feel like the world is spinning around in circles and you just want to get into the fetal position and cry because it’s just too hard to figure out what you want to do with your life? Good, because that means you are completely normal. After living on the streets and mugging people to survive, Phoebe realizes that it’s OK not to know what the next part of your life is going to be like. It’s like the saying, “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.” It might make you stronger, but it will definitely make you smarter.
Everything is a tiny little lesson! So take in what you’re doing now. What can you do with it? If you can change something about your situation, then do it. But if you can’t, then don't worry. What is worrying going to solve? So maybe you have no idea what you want to major in. So what? Maybe you’re just struggling to pay the next bill. So what? Whatever happens is going to happen. You might have to be in college for more than four years, but that only means you’re learning more things. You might have to move in order to afford a cheaper place, but that only means you’ll be encountering new people that you can inspire. Who knows! Maybe you’ll meet someone that will inspire you! The only thing that’s really holding you back is fear, but don’t give in to it. Work hard, do your best, and you will be rewarded. It may seem like you’re just wasting your time because you’re not doing something “important” or “influential,” but stop and look at the positives. Look at the small things. Because sometimes, it’s OK to just go with the flow and see what adventure life dishes out next. Is there a prize at the end of your life that says, “Good job! You did better than your neighbor!”? Nope. No there is not. So live in the moment. Because pretty soon, it will be over, and you’re going to wish it had stayed.
4. Be yourself.
Do you remember when you were little and you had a friend come over to play? Your imaginations would collide and suddenly you were both battling the dragon behind the tree in your backyard in order to save the magical stone for the king. You would scream and shout, running faster than any normal human being could ever run. And you didn’t care how you acted, did you? If you haven’t seen the "Friends" episode where Phoebe and Rachel go running through the park, then you won’t get this next reference. (Also, good golly, how have you read this far in the article without realizing your life has been lacking because you've never seen every single episode of this amazing TV series?)
However, the message is still valuable! Phoebe looked like an idiot as she ran with her arms flailing in the air and screaming about how much fun she was having. But did she care? Absolutely not! And that’s exactly how we should be. I’ll be the first to admit, trying not to notice the judgments of others is very difficult to do, so let this just be a reminder. Are you going to have more fun in life living cautiously under the fear of others’ thoughts, or are you going to enjoy it to the best of your abilities? Once again, no one is getting a prize at the end. There is no special recognition for being the biggest jerk, so you might as well do whatever makes you happy. If that means running through the park with your arms up in the air and screaming about how happy you actually are, then by golly, you do it! You will probably be long gone before the judgers even have time to blink.
5. Hang on to the good people in your life.
Love is a tricky game that everyone wants to play, and like Phoebe, most people have gone on numerous dates just trying to find “the one.” However, I feel that if we spent half as much of our time looking for good friends rather than significant others, then we would realize that true love is right under our noses! It’s like when Phoebe tells Joey that the bond they have is for life. And it’s so much more than realizing that you actually have these wonderful people called friends. (The was pun unintended, but it’s a happy coincidence!) Make time for the important people in your life. If you’re lucky, you might have three or four truly good friends. I feel like most people have at least one or two. If you do, then goodness, you are lucky. Do you realize that these friends would take a bullet for you? Something that could kill them. This bullet would end their life, and they would do it because they love you that much. I think, too often, we take for granted how deeply people care about us. Just stop and think for a minute. You have made such an impact on someone else’s life that they would literally give up their existence so you could keep on living and hopefully impact more people. That’s pretty powerful stuff. So take the time for those you love. It’s like Phoebe said: at the end of the day, this [bond] is for life. Don’t let it go to waste.
