A few months ago, I was far from happy. I was transitioning to a new university, meeting new people, going through a break-up, and battling my first ever B in college. Life was rough, to say the least, and I was truly debating if I was where I wanted to be in life. I was stuck in a slightly depressive state of mind.
I was lost, confused, lonely, and terrified.
I was the farthest thing from happy and content. I was convinced that I lost the love of my life, was never going to get a teaching job once I graduated because I lost my 4.0 and that everyone was out to get me. This negative mindset was my life from about March-May. However, one day out of nowhere, all of the "bad things" that I was fighting against suddenly didn't matter and I started to focus on myself and my sanity. Self-care became my best friend and I truly found happiness again.
However, I didn't notice this change that had occurred in myself and lifestyle until someone else did.
My mom.
One day she made the comment, "You truly look and seem happier. You are back to your old self." It was one of the greatest compliments I had ever received. It had topped all of the others. I then started to think about the words of my mother and what exactly was going inside my head. For months, I had been so negative and hateful towards myself. I blamed everything on myself and thought I was a failure. But I was the exact opposite of failure, in fact, I was more successful than ever before.
After my mother's comment, I stopped thinking so negatively and started to truly believe that I was happy because I was. I was no longer in a toxic relationship, accepted that I'm not perfect and that's okay and reminded myself that it's a bad day, not a bad life.
After this "lifestyle" and mental health, change, I became exactly who I have been wanting to be for so long. I have become a confident, happy, content, and a more loving woman. I am once again strong, determined, and on top of the world.
I have grown and fallen in love with the young woman I am.
However, it wasn't easy to reach this point in my life. I had to step outside of my comfort zone and challenge my own negative thoughts. I had to change my thinking of my self-image and the environment around me to gain total happiness. This wasn't a fast and easy change. It took time, lots of journaling and self-reflection, and talking with others about what exactly is going on inside my head and heart. But, in the end, I am so glad that I decided to be happy.
I am finally happy and loving life again.
Through this life change, the world once again taught me another life lesson. Mental health and self-care are extremely crucial to overall well-being and happiness. We must take time for ourselves and consider what exactly our body is trying to tell us for our own health and sanity. So remember, listen to your body, it's usually trying to tell you something.
In the wise words of Abraham Lincoln, "Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be."
