I am a firm believer that 20-year-olds should not have their life meticulously planned out. That isn't to say that you can't have dreams and things that you want to eventually accomplish. But having a strict timeline of things you want to do at exactly what age can sometimes be overwhelming.

I think this because I am someone who meticulously plans everything.

No matter what it is I am doing, I have played it through my head multiple times. And that is truly EXHAUSTING.

I also do this thing where I stretch myself incredibly thin, because I don't find satisfaction in the things I am doing unless I am incredibly busy. For example, I am taking 21 hours of classwork next semester, working two jobs, and volunteering with my student organizations. And for some ungodly reason, I still feel like I should be doing exponentially more.

But as time has gone on and things in my life have changed, I am starting to realize that there is nothing wrong with not having my shit together, and I don't need to plan everything out to a T.

It's okay to not know when something will happen, or if it will happen. Isn't that the best part of life? Knowing that there are opportunities for you that you don't even know about yet?

This is something I find bleeding into my academic, personal, and professional life. I find myself constantly trying to play the author of my story when in reality I should just let my story write itself. This isn't easy for me to just give in to and do. It's actually the hardest thing I have ever done.

Reversing my mindset that things will happen how they are supposed to without my influence is not something that I can fix overnight. It's something I have to work on 24/7 and can't give into, or else I get so overwhelmed with all of the things I need to "take control of."

I am now just going with the flow. I make up things as I go, and tell myself that things will work out, or not work out, how they are supposed to. And right now, that's something I am okay with.