Life From The Bird Cage
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Life From The Bird Cage

We can do anything we put our minds to, ladies. Freedom is now.

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Life From The Bird Cage
Mickey Bratton

Sit down. No, not like that. Sit like a lady.

Shoulders back. Not quite right.

Keep your legs closed. Tighter.

Wear this. No, not like that.

Cover up your shoulders. Are those finger-tip length?

Who do you think you are, going out like that? Leggings are not pants.

Leather jacket? Lace? Too sultry.

Nipples poking through? Too much.

Dark red lipstick? Too bold.

Who do you think you are?

You’re doing good, sweetie. Oh no. Not like that.

You try too hard. You don’t care enough.

Just stop.

Good job, boys. Maybe tonight she’ll be all over you if she has enough alcohol in her.

Remember, crop tops mean she's on the prowl for sex.

Hairy legs? Do the world a favor and shave those babies. No one wants to see that on a woman.

Big boobs are beautiful. Small boobs are not boobs at all. Put them away.

No, no. Show them to me.

You don’t trust me? I told you, you can. I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.

Follow your dreams. But wait. You can’t do that.

Well, you’re a girl. This is a man’s job.

I'll be back home. Stay here.

I'm the one that's going to support the family. You can maintain the house.

Dark alley. Grocery store parking lot. You’re all alone. I will approach you.

Don’t run. You don’t need to be scared.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

What’re you doing tonight?

Hey. Hey. Sup? Hey. Hey.

Lemme get your Snap.

Hey. Hey. Hey!

Why do you got to leave me on "read" like that?

Speak up for what you think is right! Nevermind. Don’t do that.

You got a big mouth on you. Why don’t you ever stop talkin’?

Do you even eat? Let me guess. Salads.

Let’s put some meat on your bones. You don’t need to work out.

Are you sure you want that? Aren’t you on a diet?

You’re going wear a bikini? Not if you’re over 110 pounds.

I love you. You’re my world, princess. Please don’t go.

I need you. I love you, baby girl. I promise you.

I don’t know what I did wrong. I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.

I said I was sorry. Didn’t you hear me? I won’t do it again.

Did you just say no to me? What? Speak up!

That’s what I thought. But you just said you wanted to.

You’re going out like that? Slut.

Can I get your number? How old are you? Do you have a boyfriend?

So?

You don’t need makeup. You’re beautiful just the way you are.

You look pale. Are you sick? Are you okay?

Oh, that’s mascara? I thought it was all natural.

Eyeshadow too? Foundation?

Who are you trying to impress? Fake. Deceiving.

If you say anything, I swear to God. Shhh. Quiet.

You’re not my mother. Are you trying to change me? Crazy bitch.

Big lips. Big eyes. Wow, you’re stunning.

Look at that booty, though! DAMN GIRL.

You’re going to school? For what? Oh wow. Nice.

Very interesting. You’re so pretty!

Tell me how you feel. Stop crying.

Oh, please. Stop! You’re always complaining.

I’m just lookin’. I’m not doing anything wrong.

Can’t a dude look? Damn.

Why not? But why? That doesn’t matter.

Can I get your Facebook? I ASKED YOU A QUESTION. Don't be like that.

Stay in the kitchen where you're supposed to be. Where's my plate? Thank you, sweetheart.

Maybe if I hold the door for her, she'll be interested. You’re welcome.

Oh, do you want to go get a bite to eat?

You're happy being single? You don't need a man?

You're lying through your teeth.

No? Rude. Crazy. Hoe. Slut. Bitch. Wild.

Who do you think you are?

Ugly. Dumb. Priss. Liar. Fatass. Skeleton.

Put a smile on that face!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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