At the beginning of high school I thought my life as a senior would be drastically different than what I am currently experiencing. I thought that I'd know exactly what I would study and that I'd graduate in 2017 with a large scholarship to Lee University. I thought that I would have grown a few inches and I'd have gone through this drastic transformation. I thought that I'd be in a relationship, because surely if I don't have a boyfriend by senior year, I'll be an old maid. I thought that I'd be the confident "big kid" that I had always viewed the seniors as. I thought I would have my life together and everything would be just as I had always dreamed. Boy, was I wrong.
Let's start with the first misconception I stated. I thought that I would know exactly what I would study after I graduate in 2017. I'll be completely honest here, I have almost no clue what I want to major in and work to be. There are a hundred different careers that I'd love to do, but as we all know, you cannot have 100 jobs. I will also most likely not be graduating in 2017 either. I am planning on taking a fifth year senior and finishing up the math credit that I won't completely finish and also dual enrolling at Lee. I had a really hard time making this decision because I had planned on having a "normal" high school experience. I am still struggling with the mindset that others will think I am not dedicated to my studies and that I am stupid. If I wasn't dedicated I wouldn't be quitting soccer in order to focus more on my studies and if i was stupid I wouldn't be taking college classes as a high school student. This is simply the path that the Lord has set me on for this current season of life, and sometimes that's really hard for me to take in, but I'm trying to trust that His ways are always higher than mine.
The second misconception I had was one that isn't as serious, but still a dream I had that wasn't met. I thought I'd be at least 5'7. But guess what.. I HAVEN'T GROWN!! I'm still stuck at 5'3, the height I was in the seventh grade. What's up with that? I surely didn't plan on still looking like a twelve year old at the end of high school, but I guess some are destined to bear the burden of being vertically challenged. The Lord must have a special place in his heart for those who can't reach the top shelves at the grocery store and those who have to raise their car seats all the way up to be able to see over the dash while driving. I thought that by now I'd have gone from "awkward middle schooler" to "high school hottie". But in reality, I am just the"slightly less awkward high schooler with a better sense of style". But it's all great because if I wanted to get the 12 and under menu, no one would question it. So who's the real winner here?
And lastly, the third misconception. I thought I'd be in a relationship. This one actually makes me laugh, and I'm sure you can guess it, I am not in a relationship like I thought I would be as a freshman. I guess I just thought it was a rite of passage. Like as soon as you enter senior year, the boys finally recognize the girls (if they hadn't already) and everyone starts dating. But as a senior now, I'm not looking to be in the relationship I thought I'd be in by now. Don't be like I was and stress that you'd be single forever if you didn't have a boyfriend by the time you are 16. Instead, spend your younger years focusing on your relationships with friends and family, and most of all, Christ. Spend your time playing the sport you love or doing the hundreds of other hobbies you may be interested in. You have your whole adult life to be in a relationship, if that is what the Lord has planned for your life. So don't stress about that boy you have a crush on like I did so often, I promise that it's no fun.
I may not be in a relationship or be 5'7 or be graduating when I thought I would, but I am single, 5'3 and exactly where God wants me to be. That's pretty neat.
"And if it doesn't turn out like I think it should, it doesn't change the fact you're always good. For Your ways are higher than mine". -What I know: Tricia Brock
