As the three year anniversary of my return approaches, I have been thinking about how my study abroad never left me. I wouldn't say I experienced reverse culture shock when I returned home. I had traveled out of the country before my study abroad, so I had already noticed and understood my home culture in a different way than I once had. There was still a period of adjustment though, and the experience gave me a new understanding and perspective on my own life.
Interactions With Others.
The fact that very few people in my life genuinely wanted to hear about my study abroad, hit me hard. I'm a storyteller at heart and since few of my friends kept in touch while I was gone. I had been looking forward to telling them about my adventures. More often than not, coworkers and friends would ask me about my experience only to tune out any answer I gave or responded with simple answers like "I'm glad you had a good time," followed by a subject change. Conversations with most people felt hollow and obligatory, for months. I had to learn how to interact with my previous friends again.
What helped me through this was having one friend who had returned from her own study abroad when I was away. She and I had similar experiences upon returning and being able to talk to each other helped us both adapt. I still refrain from telling others about my study abroad, for the most part, usually opting for abbreviated versions of stories.
I don't take it personally. Many people have not yet gone on their dream adventure or realize that they too have interesting stories to share. Occasionally, I attempt to go into more detail, yet, if I sense any resistance or disinterest from the other person, I pull back again and redirect the conversation. This practice has only improved my ability to read people and situations.
Sudden Recollections.
Anything can trigger these moments. An instance where something you see, hear, or smell sends you back to a memory of your time overseas. For me, it tends to be cobbled streets, antique clocks, certain songs, and the smell of mulled wine. It's jarring. At times I even stop mid-sentence because suddenly my mind is elsewhere. At first, I felt empty and sad after these moments. Over time, I have come to enjoy the recollections because I am reminded that I did, in fact, go on my bucket list adventure.
Motivation.
Of course, I still miss things I experienced while abroad, but I am grateful I was able to experience them in the first place. Instead of being miserable and worried that I'd never been able to experience those things again, I chose to make it my goal to continue to travel. When I catch myself looking through photos of my travels, I am motivated to save money and plan other trips. These range from hikes and small day trips to nearby cities, all the way to international adventures with friends and loved ones.
Work-Life Balance.
Not having a job while I was abroad was strange, and though I made full use of my free time, part of me wished I was still working. When I came home I went straight back to the job that I had before I'd left, without any time to decompress, and that complicated my situation. After the first few days at work, when the excitement to see everyone again had faded, I shifted back into my old routine. Reverting to this routine so fast resulted in me feeling like I hadn't left at all, that somehow my study abroad was ages ago or hadn't happened. I felt down and hollow, so I distracted myself by working more.
The majority of my schedule was dictated by work and school, and I was not taking any time for myself. I had been working at the same place for nearly six years in various roles. It was only taking up more and more of my life, especially after I graduated. It was not healthy.
Towards the end, I couldn't even get restful sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about work; when I fell asleep I would dream about work. Finally, I left my old job for a new one, and I have been able to balance my work and home life better. This is something I will continue to have to work on and keep in check.
Travel has become an important aspect of my life since my study abroad, and I've learned that I should not feel guilty for taking time off every once in a while to indulge my wanderlust.
The urge to travel has not faded over these three years. I wonder what other lasting impacts my study abroad has had on me that I will notice over the next three years.
