Hey girl hey, it's you. At 22.
Yeah, it definitely sounds weird, but ah, just so you know that's it's...well...you, the growth plate in your back isn't broken, and mom is going to find the journal that you write in.
As I'm sitting here typing this, there's a lot I want to say to you. Sixteen was a hard year for use, and seventeen and eighteen aren't that much better if I'm being completely honest with you. Mom really isn't going to calm down until we're twenty, you're going to lose a handful of people you thought were your friends, and you're going to find out that the lifestyle you were forced into is going to later leave you with anxiety and depression.
Overall, it's gonna suck until you decide to not go back to Pensacola and you move in with dad and your stepmom. Granted, there will be some power struggles there, but they'll be so small that in the end, it's not going to be a big deal. They'll actually listen and work with you, and it'll all be fine.
Since I'm writing this, I want to leave you with some advice, some things that I wish we would have known at sixteen.
I know you have your suspicions about the church you're in, and for the most part, you are absolutely right. But, I will say this: just roll with it for right now. You won't have to deal with it for too much longer in the grand scheme of things.
Love your friends while you have them. Mom will turn them against you once you move out, so keep that in the back of your mind. That sounds ridiculous, I know, but think of it this way: if they really were your friends and if they really did love you, they would have talked to you as well instead of turning on you. It may come off harsh, but ah, you'll thank me for it late.
Stay with your mom and love on your siblings as much as you can before you go to school. Soon, they're going to live three hours away and you won't see them very often. There are going to be days where your heart is really going to hurt over this, but then you'll remember all the fond memories you've made with them and it'll start getting better over time.
And lastly, you aren't worldly or rebellious. You do everything that your mom asks you to do and more. Don't feed into it, even though I know that we end up doing that. Your grandparents love you so much, and they're there for you, and trust me, they'll help you with that mental breakdown that's going to hit around 20. You aren't a bad person and don't think that you are for a second.
In essence, your intuition is right, love the people around you while you have them, love your siblings and spoil them at every chance, and you are a good person.
Keep on dreaming, Nanna, you'll be just fine,