We can all agree that 2018 was a shit show of a year. From roommate drama to breakups, from hospitalizations to more boy drama, and even from thoughts of dropping out to thoughts of jumping off a bridge, there was no time for me to sit and distract myself from the lies that my own mind was constantly telling me. Here are 55 of the lies that I told myself throughout this year.
1. 'You are not worthy."
2. 'You are the reason why things around you fail.'
3. 'You are disgusting and nobody will ever love you.'
4. 'There is nothing that you can do right in this lifetime.'
5. 'You are the only reason your relationships keep failing.'
6. 'Everyone would be happier if you weren't alive.'
7. 'You are the biggest loser.'
8. 'You are everyone's last choice. Why do you think that is?'
9. 'Don't you understand you can't do anything right?'
10. 'There is nothing about you that you love, so what makes you think someone else will love you?'
11. 'You are a failure.'
12. 'You are a disappointment.'
13. 'You are a burden and nobody cares about your problems.'
14. 'You are incapable of being happy.'
15. 'You will never make anyone proud.'
16. "The compliments you give are staged and people are only nice to you because of the pity vibe you radiate.'
17. 'You are unloveable.'
18. 'You are crazy."
19. 'Everyone thinks you're a joke.'
20. 'Your own mother doesn't even believe you when you say you're struggling.'
21. 'You are a financial burden to your family.'
22. 'You have no purpose.'
23. 'You are wasted space.'
24. 'You are trash.'
25. 'You don't deserve anything.'
26. 'Except that time you were raped. You definitely deserved that.'
27. 'And the time your boyfriend cheated on you. You also deserved that.'
28. 'You are a walking storm cloud that disrupts everyone's sunshine.'
29. 'You will never measure up.'
30. 'You are so fat, lumpy, and frumpy.'
31. 'Your life is a joke. Never meant to be taken seriously.'
32. 'Which means that your sadness, guilt, and shame are also a joke.'
33. 'You will never ever be average.'
34. 'But always below average.'
35. 'You are a never ending disaster.'
36. 'You somehow manage to f*ck up every thing that you do.'
37. 'And every time you mess up, you prove to yourself that you're never going to improve.'
38. 'Nobody will ever love you for all you are.'
39. 'If you killed yourself, people would forget about you'
40. 'At your funeral, nobody would cry and nobody would be devastated.'
41. 'Because that's how little you mean to everyone around you.'
42. 'You are about as useful as a white crayon when only white paper is available.'
43. 'You are also just about as useful as a fork while trying to eat soup.'
44. 'Nobody looks forward to seeing you.'
45. 'Nobody looks forward to talking to you.'
46. 'Nobody looks forward to hearing from you.'
47. 'You do not light up anybody's world.'
48. 'You are the chains that hold others back from pursuing their dreams.'
49. 'You'd be better off if you were aborted twenty years ago.'
50. 'You are as worthy as the crusty, horrendous dumpster outside of a prison.'
51. 'You are invisible.'
52. 'If you jump, you won't feel this anymore.'
53. 'This is your own fault.'
54. 'Everybody hates you and dreads when they see you.'
55. 'All of these problems would be solved if you just ended it all right here, right now.'
May 2019 bring wisdom and strength to take these lies of mine and drown them in the river where I found myself.
