I am an introvert, and I am painfully shy. This is just how I've been my entire life, and such traits bring daily issues. It's hard for me to vocalize my opinions or thoughts in class, and I often get notes on report cards saying "Please participate more". I overthink everything; I worry too much about what other people think of me. I silence myself purposefully to avoid interaction, or judgments. Overtime, this has developed in to low confidence in my opinions and ideas, making me feel shameful and scared to even talk. Even beyond education, I have trouble socializing with people out of my friend group. I feel constant regret, concerning the things I've always wanted to say, but never did. Regretting the wonderful people I could have became friends with if I just allowed myself to talk. But instead, I remain isolated, quiet, and invisible to many.
However, on a positive note, I want to share my ideas and feelings with other people--and I am able to do so through singing. Singing is perhaps the only personal quality that I feel confident doing. As a child, I was so confident about singing. I did every town musical, and was so prideful about it. When I was ten, I started private voice lessons (which I still attend weekly today). I preformed in town talent shows, singing non-traditional songs with costumes, and sometimes choreography. I sang songs from musical theater, to classic jazz. People weren't so receptive, but I was proud and never stopped preforming my unconventional arrangements.
Yet, all good things come to an end, and when I entered middle school I wasn't so confident about my talent. I still attended voice lessons, but I stopped preforming solo in public and I let my shyness take control. It wasn't until freshman year of high school that I embraced my talent and started singing more again. I'm in a choir at my school, and I find myself willingly raising my hand for solo opportunities. It's an environment that I feel most comfortable in--where I can act and say what I want, when I want. For all the words I never said, and all the participation points I lost, I make up for it by expressing myself through song. And for that two minute period, I can forget about all the restrictions I put on myself. Through singing, I can purely express myself in a way I never can in class. Who would have thought that a girl who can barely mutter a word in class, can go out on stage and belt a "high C". Preforming is an important part of my life, for it serves as one of the only ways I can liberate myself from my shyness.
Other ways I feel liberated and freed from my self-restraints, is writing. In the past, I never saw my writing as anything but subpar and mediocre.Currently, I've been able to come to terms with my enjoyment of writing, and I've learned that it's a skill that I should keep pursuing. I thoroughly appreciate the opportunity of writing for "Odyssey", for it has expanded my passion for writing. And because of my writing and singing, I can further break away from my timidity.
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