I was caught somewhere between wanting to choke slam someone and loving them with my whole heart. Then, It dawned upon me that retaliation in any way was just not worth it. We can spend our entire life hating someone for who they are, or accepting what the circumstances were and moving on. It’s only natural to want to fight back and stand up for ourselves. However, will you truly get the satisfaction you want if you hold a grudge against someone because of who they are? The most selfless way you can love a person is just letting them be, no matter how crappy they were to you.

Holding a grudge is pointless. It is not good for the mind, body, or soul. You sit and think about it for hours creating scenarios in your mind of ways things could have gone, or should have gone. In reality, that did not happen. Wake up; you are only making things harder on yourself. There is no need to feel down in the dumps over something that wasn’t worth it in the beginning. Granted, you may have just lost a best friend, boyfriend or girlfriend, or even gotten shafted from that incredible job opportunity. However, a wise soul once told me that “whatever will be, will be,” and coming to terms with the “will be” is what set me free.

I want to grow in this life, mind, body and soul. I will never become the person I want to be if I feel as if something is dragging me down. This is why I chose to let go of my past. Past mistakes and even past relationships. Not because I truly wanted to, but because I had to. I had to let go because it was something I could not control. Holding a grudge is tiring, and that is one thing I can control. Today, I am not going to hold someone accountable forever because hate is too great a burden. Sometimes we all do crappy things and never get our consequences until we are facing the other side. It’s a hard fact to swallow, but it’s the smartest thing you could ever do in your life.

Why sit around hoping, waiting, and wishing when you could be out doing, creating, and planning? Put the voodoo dolls up and bless that person. Don’t be a foe; be a friend. You never know, you might just end up sitting next to that crappy person in your child’s school orientation, or running into them at Kroger. Save yourself the awkwardness, because if you are in control of any situation, it would be your actions. Have some dignity, be bold, and last but not least, smile because you are much better off without them.

If it’s worth fighting for, be my guest. You just aren’t going to catch a needless confrontation from me because quite frankly my give a damn busted a long time ago, and I simply do not have the drive to play revenge. It doesn’t make you grow as a person, and that should be your only priority. I’m ready to see where this life takes me, and fortunately baggage isn’t going to be coming with me. At the end of the day, I ask myself: Will this matter in 10 years? If it won’t, it’s not worth fighting for.

If someone from my past asks me about a grudge, I’m going to assume they're talking about the movie. I’m healthy, happy, and for once in my life satisfied with my progress. I could only hope that someone would want to do the same for themselves. After all, don’t forget to love before you are gone.