The things that I wish I could have told my younger self are now bubbling up out of me as I enter my junior year of college. I guess it's just that time, a time of remembrance and nostalgia. It's a time to look back at the girl I used to be and assess the growth that has happened over the years.
These letters to my past self are my way of connecting to a part of me I can never get back because I have changed quite a lot. Here we go:
Dear middle school me,
Those glasses are not what you want. You aren't going to like that relaxer...or that bob either. Embrace your curls. They don't always do what you want them to but that's ok. Let them do what they want and learn to love them as they are. You've made some really good friends. Be careful though that you don't equate sameness with friendship. It's better when you and the ones you love have some differences. Embrace those differences. They spark interest and fun memories in your relationships.
Love yourself,
Future Me
Dear high school me,
Your emo phase will come to an end but that little ball of sadness won't ever leave you. That's ok, think of it as a friend that keeps you grounded. When it's not causing you grief it's actually helping you to be mellow. Don't be overwhelmed by the prospect of making friends. We don't have to ever try at making friends; people come to us. Push your hair out of your face. You are beautiful and even when you don't feel it, other people will see it. Let that crush of yours know all about himself. Don't beat around the bush; talk to him. Talking is our best way to communicate and he is really open to hearing what you have to say. Be spontaneous. Don't let people tell you what to do but also be open to helpful tips.
Love yourself,
Future Me
Dear first years of college me,
Wow. Didn't think we would make it this far did we? So glad you learned to love your body a little more. We look good in shorts by the way. I bet you feel nervous about making friends again but what did I tell you. There will be no problem in the friends department. Just focus on those books girl but don't give up on meal time for homework. Actually if that's what works for you then do it but squeeze in some snacks before those long nights in the library. Don't let anyone badger you into being an English teacher. We don't like kids and that's not a great trait to have as a teacher. Enjoy those tough and boring professors because they have so much to offer you in terms of knowledge. Open yourself up to new experiences. Yeah that hike up the Pinnacle was deathly but the memories made and the views at the top were worth it. Say what you feel because there is no use in lying. You'll be found out soon enough. Wear that crop top or that two piece. We look great and it doesn't matter what others think. Love yourself. LOVE. YOURSELF. I can't stress this enough because for so long you have hated who we are but it's time for change. We are worthy of love and the first love should come from our own heart.
I love you
