Hi Zayn,

How are you doing? I wouldn’t know because I unfollowed you on Twitter a few weeks ago. I used to think it would be childish to do that. I figured I should still support you in some way, even as you did your own thing. But as the months have gone by, I realized that the only thing I got from following you was annoyance. I don’t want to hear about anything you choose to do with your life anymore.

Yes, I’m bitter. But that’s because I’m loyal. One Direction has been my favorite band since I was 16 years old. I own the deluxe yearbook edition of every album. I’ve gone to every tour, watched every DVD and bought every official book. I have countless T-shirts and wristbands. There is a poster hanging up in my room right next to my cardboard Niall. Needless to say, I have a large investment in these boys.

So when you left, I was upset. You were one-fifth of a band that continues to be very much a part of my life. I was obviously a fan of yours. I would spend hours listening to all of your high notes and vocal runs. My friends and I would cross our fingers for more Zayn solos and then swoon over them when the new album was released each year. I appreciated your quiet and thoughtful demeanor, love of art and willingness to always be Lou’s partner in crime. Through interviews, social media and concerts, I felt like I had gotten to know your personality as well as I possibly could have.

It seems that I was wrong because now I feel like I don’t know you at all. From the second they announced you were leaving, you started to change into another person. You were supposed to be leaving because you wanted to be a normal guy, which is understandable. I was sympathetic at first, not angry, because I knew that fame had always been hard for you. You didn’t love the spotlight like some other celebrities did. I knew you were being overworked. I feared that all of you boys were, with the nonstop touring and constant stream of new albums. I couldn’t be mad at you, someone I admired in a lot of ways, for doing what was best for you, what would make you happy.

I started to get annoyed when you started to be rude. I think the turning point was when you got into a fight with Louis on Twitter. Didn’t you know most people would take his side? Was it really necessary to let the world know that you weren’t on good terms with him? Fans were already upset about the situation and a public fight felt like a divide was being drawn. Supporting you felt like backstabbing them and they were the ones who I owed my loyalty to. They didn’t leave. Louis, Liam, Niall and Harry were working hard to keep performing and keep producing music. They thanked the fans every day. You were the one who turned your back.

Now you’re working on your own music, and you know what? Good for you. I won’t be listening, but it’s your life. You don’t owe me anything. I just don’t have to be your fan anymore. I don’t like what you’ve been doing lately. Attacking Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris was completely unnecessary. At the very least, you could have been more mature about it. You’re even starting to aim your immature insults at people who are supposed to be your friends (i.e. Naughty Boy).

You broke off your engagement, which is really none of my business, but you look like the bad guy when your beautiful and kind ex-fiancé is fighting back tears in interviews or crying during performances, and you’re tweeting nonsense. I just don’t know what happened to the boy fans grew to love, the one who bought his mom a house and touched our hearts in “This is Us.” Do you remember what you said in that movie? That you might be in a boy band, but it’s a cool boy band, so it’s OK. You said multiple times how glad you were to have these boys with you, that you couldn’t imagine doing it all alone. I don’t know what changed.

I may act bitter and say I don’t care about you at all, but the truth is I’m just a little hurt. No one ever wanted you to go and now that you’re gone, it’s just sad to see you acting like this band wasn’t your life for almost five years. Being in One Direction gave you opportunities you never would’ve had otherwise, and I hope you never forget that. You said it yourself that if someone laughs at you because you were in a boy band, you’re going to say, "Yeah, and I had a sick time so keep laughing, mate.”

So Zayn, I wish you the best. Good luck with your solo career. I hope you’re happy with what you’re doing at the moment.

And don’t worry, based on what I heard at my concert a few weeks ago, One Direction is more than fine as a quartet.