Dear Summer 2017,
Woo. You sure have been a doozy-- a good kind, I would. You definitely pushed me to my limits, my breaking points, and broke me out of my comfort zone. You helped me grow more in the last three months than I did my entire freshman year at college, and I am so thankful for that. I never saw you coming, but I am sure glad you did.
When I was packing up my cluttered dorm room in May, I imagined this summer to be entirely different. The first month was predictable enough, but maybe that was because I was still in a holding pattern. The winds of change came in with the summer breeze, and it wasn't until my wings were ready to fly headfirst into the world of self-growth and discovery that I was able to rid myself of the toxic relationships that held me back from becoming who I was supposed to be. For the first time in forever, I feel like a woman who can make decisions-- by herself, and for herself. Instead of pouring my love endlessly into those who will not accept it, or spending my past time trying to prove myself in an area of my life that really won't matter five years from now, I am doing the things that make me feel like the person I truly am. I have found myself amidst you, Summer 2017.
While it may have been easier, I would have never been able to grow if things had remained the same. Growth is necessary, but I will be the first to admit it is painful. It is uncomfortable trying to change the way you have been for your entire life. It is intoxicating having to pull away from people or things you still love, but do not serve a purpose in your life anymore. It is incredibly hard to walk away from these things and to put yourself first in all matters, but it is entirely necessary to foster change. Nothing about growth is easy, but if it was easy then everyone would be doing it. We all have ideal selves that we are miraculously trying to become. Few of us actually put ourselves through the suffering that often yields the growth into those forms of our true selves.
Summer 2017, you were not how I would imagine you to be. When I packed up my things at the end of freshman year I imagined this summer to be spent so differently, but I am glad things ended up being the way that they were. You helped me grow into a new person that is ready to take on her sophomore year at college, and redeem the calamity of freshman year. Thank you for setting me on a path to become the person I was destined to become.
All the best,
Shelby
