Dear All Homesick College Freshmen,

First, and foremost, I want you to know that I get it. I do not think that you should be embarrassed or ashamed that you are homesick. Truthfully, I was in your shoes once and it felt horrible. I want you to know that you are not the only person feeling this way. I was convinced that everybody else adjusted perfectly well to the college life, and that I was the only one that wasn't quite getting it. Sure, I live in the Chicago suburbs so I was not that far from St. Louis. However, no matter the distance, moving away from home is a huge change. Some people cope with that change by channeling all their energy into meeting people, and some people cope with that change by thinking back on all the memories they made at home. I'm here to tell you that there is not one perfect way to cope with this abrupt change that you are going through.

My roommate and I handled moving away to school very differently. While I was crying to my mom on the phone every day, my roommate was politely pretending she didn't see me wiping my puffy, red eyes. She did not let it show that even she was feeling homesick. Because I didn't know many people, I was not close enough with anyone to tell them how lonely I was feeling. As it turned out, one of my friends was in the same boat as I was but we never talked about it. Don't be too proud to talk about it with people.

Chances are good that the person you are talking to is not going to laugh in your face when you say you miss your family. I wish I had known to talk about it with people because it truly is something that most (if not all) people can relate to. Opening yourself up to people can be scary, but it can also result in stronger friendships and a bond that you hadn't had before. Do not be afraid to talk about your life at home, it can lead to deeper conversations than the normal welcome-week topics we all love to hate. On a similar note, do not be afraid to tell your friends from home that you are missing them. They are going through similar adjustments and you never know which ones could use a bit of support. Give yourself time to talk about what you're feeling.

However, do not sit in your dorm room and mope about it all the time. It is okay to let yourself be sad, but nothing is going to get better if that's all you do. Believe me, I know it can be hard to force yourself to join clubs or to ask people to get lunch with you, but sometimes you just need to do it. If you're distracted you won't feel the need to call your mom all the time, or text all your best friends from home. Busy yourself by getting to know the campus and other students. This is the best piece of advice I was given.

I was shocked to find that once I was more comfortable simply walking around campus, the happier I became. You need to make it feel like a home. Nobody is going to do this for you. You can't sit and wait for people to magically want to be your friend. Let's be honest, nobody wants to be friends with the person who sits and cries about their home all day. (On the contrary, nobody wants to be friends with the person who says they haven't missed their home, either.) Truly, it is up to you to make friends and make the campus a home. Don't let yourself miss out on anything just because you are feeling homesick.

Long story short, give yourself time to miss home but make sure that you aren't holding yourself back from anything that could make your experience better. Being homesick is normal, but it definitely shouldn't last forever. You don't want to have any regrets about your college experience, so do not let yourself stay in your dorm room all day and night. Make your campus a home, and before you know it you'll be at home for break and you'll feel "school sick." Rest assured, freshmen, we've all been in your shoes. After this comes the fun part.

Sincerely,

Maggie McDermott