A Letter To The Boy Who Didn't Understand The Word No
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A Letter To The Boy Who Didn't Understand The Word No

I smiled, thinking that this could be the start of something great. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

A Letter To The Boy Who Didn't Understand The Word No

This article comes with trigger warning. It talks about inappropriate touching and may cause some people to be uncomfortable.

Hello again,

I know I probably have no business writing this letter, and you probably don’t know why I'm writing this in the first place, but something needs to be said. Back in September, you and I went on our first date. Everything started off great! We got coffee, and went for a walk, and talked about everything under the sun. I don’t think I smiled that much in a long time. I learned about your family history and why you are shy. Nearing the end of the date, we were sitting on a picnic table and you leaned in to kiss me. I smiled, thinking that this could be the start of something great. I couldn’t be more wrong.

You told me you need to go back to your room to grab something. You asked me if I wanted to go with you, and I told you no. You told me there was nothing to worry about because your roommate was there. I told myself I was being silly and walked with you. You were right, your roommate was there, but he left almost immediately. I looked at you and asked if you had what you needed. You told me I need to relax and began to kiss me. I told myself you were right. There is no harm in having a minute of fun.

I don’t know how, but somehow I ended up on your bed with you on top of me. I told you I thought that we should stop and you told me a few more minutes. I started to feel scared and began to stiffen up. I told you I wanted to leave, but you grabbed my arms and held me there and told me to stop moving. I told you no and began to fight you off.

You were stronger than I was, and you held my arms with one hand and began to touch me in places I really wish you hadn’t. I told you to stop and you just smiled and continued. The fight was beginning to leave me. I was losing motivation to fight you off. I felt like I was no longer in my body. I felt like I was watching everything happen, like I was a bystander. Soon, I was just laying there, staring at the wall on the other side of your room.

Thankfully, before anything else took place, your roommate walked in, and you got off of me so fast. I looked at him and smiled, then looked at you and told you that I was gonna go back to my dorm. You said okay, and walked me back to my residence hall. You kissed me goodbye and I ran inside. I felt so ashamed of myself for following you back to your dorm. I knew better than that. I was told growing up never to follow someone I didn’t know back into their place. I decided never to tell anyone. The following day you messaged me asking me if I was okay, and I told you everything. I told you what you did was wrong and you apologized over and over again. You told me you thought I was saying other things and that I was happy with what we were doing, or whether what you were doing to me. I blocked you on everything, and decided I didn’t need you in my life.

It is now December, and I finally have the courage to say what happened to me. I was sexually assaulted. Whether you meant to or not. I am still hurt and scared. I see you everywhere I go. I never look at you and you never say anything to me. Please, whatever you (the people reading) do please don’t follow people into their dorm. Please listen to that voice in the back of your head. Trust your gut. Don’t be like me and ignore them.

If you or someone you know is sexually assaulted, please say something. If you need to talk to someone, the hotline number is 1-800-786-2929. The 24/7 number is 1-800-656-4673. If this is happening to you, please know that I am truly sorry, and I am here for you. I have an idea of what you are going through.
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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