An Open Letter To Shopping
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Arts Entertainment

If I Had To Choose Between Eating Roaches Over Shopping, I'd Say Hand Me The Roaches Every Time

Over many years, I have developed a strong disliking for shopping.

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If I Had To Choose Between Eating Roaches Over Shopping, I'd Say Hand Me The Roaches Every Time

Dear Shopping,

I hate you. I hate you with a burning passion.

Sure, I might like looking for shoes occasionally or buying some clothes, but all those times when my mother and sister dragged me along to shop were horrendous. Hours spent staring at aisles in which I had no interest, with the rest of my family bickering about what they should buy and what they should not.

Weekends, evenings, gone in an instant. Parts of my childhood that fell victim to boredom as a result of you. Extreme boredom, stuck with you, spending long minutes and hours with you, without you pleasing me or enticing me in any way. You interest me so little and have never ceased to bore me, even to this very day.

The amount of time and money wasted on you is torturous. I understand the necessity of you, but do you have to be so difficult? You suck the energy out of me every time I am with you. My memories of you when I was younger return in the form of nightmares when I sleep. Endless possibilities of fun snapped away when dragged to you.

Sure, you may be fun for a little bit, with all the goods you have, but multiple-hour trips to Costco? No, thanks. You disgusted me with all those trips to multiple grocery stores at once: one mainstream grocery store, one ethnic grocery store and so on. You have wasted full Saturdays and Sundays scrambling around trying to find the most random items that exist in the most random places in the most random stores.

The only type of you that I can bear is your online version. Amazon saves time, has relatively cheap pricing, good shipping times and a large array of goods. And even Amazon has a grocery option, to save you even more time. And with basically every store going into the online version of you, including Walmart, Target, Best Buy and more, what's not to like?

But even then, the hassle of payments and shipping, having to return items, looking at reviews, being scammed, are still a burden on anyone's soul. Hunting for the best deals and finding coupon codes only add to the stress. But hey, if it saves some time, its worth it to me.

And I know one thing for sure about my attitude towards you. It will never change. I despise you and will do so for the rest of my life.

Sincerely,

A Shopping Hater

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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