Dear My Old Best Friend,

If anyone told me things were going to end up this way, I would have never believed them. I never wanted things to play out like this and I can't tell you enough times that I wish it didn't. I understand life happens, people get busy and when you get out of high school you tend to drift apart, but not us.

I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss driving around in your car blasting music just enjoying time between the both of us. I miss packing out your car like a clown car with all of our friends. I miss your family. I miss when your mom yelled at me for always putting myself in bad situations. I miss your mom and knows she looks down on us every day. I miss your grandma. I miss your aunt. I miss your brother. I miss his girlfriend. I miss our sleepovers for days straight, especially during a snow storm. I miss texting 24/7 and telling you everything that happens as it was happening.

We were both there for each other at our worst times and when we both went through our first heart breaks together and I believe that that's the strongest bond of them all, someone being there for you at your weakest most vulnerable point. I still to this day can't thank you enough for all of the black holes in my life that you pulled me out of. I wouldn't be the person I am today if you didn't come into my life. You taught me how to stick up for myself and not let people bring me down. All based on your own experiences. How you learned how to stick up for yourself and how you didn't let other people bring you down.

Someone recently asked me if we still hang out and the look on their face couldn't be more clear when they were shocked to hear me say no. I'm still in denial that we aren't nearly as close as we used to be. I couldn't be more thankful for our friendship and the memories we made throughout the years. The best was every time we made fun of someone or when you had to scare someone off. Everyone was always afraid of you, but you were my mush and I loved it.

The saddest part is nothing will ever go back to the way it was, nothing will ever be the same. Some part of me is okay with that, another part isn't. Sometimes I can't believe we let this happen. I can't believe we didn't stop ourselves from drifting apart, we let the little arguments get between us. Why? To be miserable without each other in the end? I admit I let the wrong things get between us and I would do anything for a re-do, to rewind and make it as if some of those things never happened.

I'm so happy for you and where your life is taking you. I couldn't have picked a better guy for you to treat you like the queen you deserve to be treated like. I know how happy you are, and with everything you've been through, you deserve the best. Although we still keep in touch, I wish it was so much more. Maybe one day I can be a part of your happiness again.

Love Always,

Your Old Best Friend