To My Cat As I Leave For College Again

Dear Whisper, my fat kitty,

I know you are incredibly mad at me. Right now you are probably pouting as you lay on my bed all alone. You're not dumb. You saw the suitcases as I began to pack my things for another year at school. Last year was not easy, especially for you.

On the rare occasion I did come home, you would ignore me for a little while as punishment for leaving you alone. I was told you would go into my brother's room to find him while I was away. My mom would do her best to give you the attention your spoiled butt craves. And as for my dad, you two don't like each other, so you avoided him.

I haven't been gone long, and I know you don't understand why I leave for a good part of the year. I know you are mad at me. It's okay. I'm mad at me too for having to leave you behind. The truth is, you get on my nerves 80% of the time, but I really do love you. And I miss you so much.

You rub up against me all the time. And it's impossible for me to watch Netflix without you blocking my laptop screen. Sometimes you walk across my laptop, which really irritates me. I can never work on any projects with you around because you'll lay right in the middle of it.

Writing in a journal is impossible because you'll nudge my hand or swipe at me, which makes me smear the ink. In your world, I am your servant. You think my life should revolve around you.

You irritate me to no end, but I dread being away from you. While I'm gone, you can take my spot on the bed and keep it warm for me. I'll be back. I always come back.

Now, while I' m gone Whisper, I need you to do a few things for me. Don't pout. You can miss me, but don't take it out on others. Don't pick a fight with Callie, our other cat, because she is scrappy and may beat you up. She also is a lot skinnier than you, and she can certainly outrun you.

Be nice to my mom. She will take care of you and be good to you. So, don't piss her off by scratching her leather couches or jump up on her bed. You shed a lot and she is allergic to your nappy fur. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, you spoiled kitty.

You can hang around my brother. He'll pet you, but don't expect him to be around 24-7. He has his own things to do with senior year of high school, and not to mention he has a puppy. And for all the love that is good and holy, stay away from Nico.

He is a hunter and will eat you. He may be the baby of the family, but that furry puppy will eat you if you go near him. With your size, you could be his breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Lastly, don't pee on anything in the house. We'll have to kick you out of the house as punishment and when I come home, I want you to be able to take naps with me. Watching Grey's Anatomy without you won't be the same.

Even though you're mad at me, be a good kitty while I am away. Do it for me, and when I come home we will snuggle all you want. I love you with all my heart!

Love, your Mama that misses you.

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