To my ex-boyfriend,

I never imagined that I would be sitting here writing a letter to you about a year after we severed ties. As the days go on, I find myself realizing things about the relationship that we shared, and I feel it is important to let you know exactly how I feel. Although I know you do not particularly wish to speak to me or hear me out, I am clinging to the hope that maybe someday you'll read this and finally know how I feel.

You were my first real boyfriend, my first true love. I had relationships before you but they did not even compare to what we had. With you everything was easy. I'm not ashamed to admit that I fell hard and I fell fast, and I think that you did too. In my mind we had the type of relationship that people prayed for before falling asleep at night. You were everything that I had hoped and dreamed for and it was so amazing.

I had struggled in the past with toxic relationships and forms of abuse that lead to really bad habits and you knew that, but you accepted me anyways. You made me realize my worth. Even after we broke up you constantly reminded me what I deserve. Aside from family, you cared about me and my well-being more than anyone. Because of you, I (literally) threw all of my bad habits out the window.You'll never really understand how much that meant to me.

Our love story was beautiful. Yes, we had our problems, all great couples do, but we always managed to work them out. Looking back though, I am realizing that I was pretty selfish in our relationship. When you found me, I was broken and unhappy but you fixed me, or so I thought. You made me incredibly happy but the problem is I became dependent on you for my happiness. I woke up every morning happy because of you; not because of who I was as a person. I don't resent the fact that you were my source of happiness but it wasn't fair to you. As you were making me happy, I was too unhappy with myself to show you the same kind of respect. I think that is one of the things that lead to our downfall and for that I am so sorry. I never realized how draining it was on you to keep trying to make me happy; to make up for the fact that I hated myself.

Going to college was rough and it put a strain on us. Being four hours away from each other was not easy. I'm not sure that you know this, because I tend to try and hide my emotions, but it killed me seeing you try and struggle to make us work. At the time I felt like I was putting in the effort, but looking back I realize that it all came back to the fact that I was unhappy with myself. I didn't decide to end things because I didn't love you or because I wanted anyone else. I decided to end things because I cared about you so much and I hated to see you so hurt by me because you're the kind of guy who should never have to be hurt in his life.

Now I'm the one dealing with the consequences, and I'm the one hurting because I did not take the time to stop being selfish and make things right. Now you're the one who is so incredibly happy, and you've found love with someone else and it hurts—it really hurts—but I know that it is what is best for you. You'd do anything for anyone. I've told you time and time again that a piece of me will always love you. As hard as it is for me to say this, I am so happy for you because I love you. You were my best friend and the things I felt for you won't just "go away." If you love something, let it go. I had to let you go for your own happiness. After all the hurting that I put you through, I'm so happy to see you happy again. You deserve it more than anyone.

All my love,
Your ex-girlfriend