An Open Letter To My Mom Who's Been There For Me Through It All

An Open Letter To My Mom Who's Been There For Me Through It All

As long as I have you by my side, I'm not afraid.
2024
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Mom, we’ve been through it all. From consoling me when a high school friend was being unnecessarily problematic, helping me decide how to word a particular English essay, and to deciding on the right college, I am one of the lucky people who get to proudly say that you have been right at my side through it all. I never appreciated just how much of a sounding board you were for my thoughts and opinions until I went to college and did not have you by my side every day.

I never fully realized just how much better I felt after telling you about my day’s daily dramas, and how much attention you gave to my stories, and how engaged you were in even the most minute details. You really truly care about what I have to say, and make me feel important and like I matter.

I now try to make the important people in my life feel just like how I do during a conversation with you: understood and acknowledged fully. It takes a special kind of friend, a rare one, to give me the same kind of good feeling I do when I talk to you. I have luckily found some at school, but that will never compare to the love and attention that you give to me.

It can be confusing and disheartening at times while away from home, where I can be unsure of who is a true friend, and who I can confide in. All of the confusion is alleviated whenever I speak to you on the phone. You laugh when I laugh, and cry when I cry. My pain is your pain, and I know that you always want me to succeed and do my best in life, no matter what career path I choose.

I would be lost without our phone calls and conversations, and I guess I have never really expressed to you how much all of your support means to me. I always just assumed that you knew. After all, how could I not appreciate you after all that you have done for me? You drove me an hour and a half to ballet classes every week, just so I could dance with the best teachers out there, and helped me pick out outfits to wear countless times. You allowed me to make my own decisions regarding which high school to attend, and left the decision up to me to transfer my senior year.

At the time, I wished that you would have just told me what to do, and make my decision easier. However, you knew that I would ultimately feel better if I made the choice myself, with no one to blame or thank but myself. As my choice regarding high school proved to be successful and make me happy, I had you to thank for the endless support, but myself to thank for making one of the toughest decisions of my life.

That life lesson was invaluable and shapes every choice that I make. Without you, who knows what I would have done? Not only in that one instance, but in multiple aspects of my life, I have you to thank for the endless support. The future and growing up is terrifying, but as long as I have you by my side, I am not afraid.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
352799
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Single Mom Who Raised Me, I Am Strong Because Of You

She brought me into this world and has definitely threatened to take me out.

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Without my mom, I don't know who I would be today. She has taught me many lessons but I believe the most important was to create my own independence and never depend on a spouse to take care of me. My mother went back to school when I was a young girl and thankfully we had my grandparents to help my mom raise me while she did school full time and worked two jobs.

My mom left a situation that she knew was not safe nor healthy for either of us and even though I did not understand why until I was older, I'm thankful that she did. I used to resent her for what she did but it wasn't until I was old enough to know and understand that I saw why and I felt terrible for blaming everything on her for years and years.

Even though we have our differences, my mom will always be my best friend and number one fan. We have differing views and opinions but that is because she taught me to be a free thinker and have an independent mindset. She taught me how to cook more homemade dishes than one could dream of and was proof that God works miracles. My mom is my best friend and without her, I don't know how I could ever make it through this life. There are many things we don't agree upon but in the end, we put that aside and love each other anyway.

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