Dear person who struggles with being judgmental,

It seems easy to judge people when they are not like you. If they have a different style, or they talk differently, or they are rude and mean, it is easy to look down on them. You can say something behind that person’s back, and at the moment you feel good, especially if your friend laughs. What are you really doing though? Making yourself feel good by trying to bring someone else down? Does it really make you feel good to think that someone probably does the same thing to you behind your back, or that the person you talk about is having a hard time?

When you take a step back and even put yourself into that other person's shoes, you see a different perspective. You may see someone whose parents fight every night. Or some whose family is living on a very fixed income. Or someone who has to deal with so much more than you can ever imagine. All of the sudden, judging others doesn’t seem like the right way to get out your frustrations even if you have your own storms in your life.

The bible has this to say about being judgmental, “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself because you who pass judgment do the same things” Romans 2:1. This is basically saying that we cannot judge other people because you are pretty much pointing back at yourself. I have been told so many times that if you point a finger, you have three pointing back at you. This goes the same way with judgment. We are called by God to not put any stumbling blocks in front of our neighbors, which is anyone and everyone.

I cannot tell you the exact words or tools to use to help stop being judgmental. In my opinion, going to God is the only way to help get through the hard times and the judgment. All of this may seem harsh, but I feel some tough love is needed. I am not trying to be judgmental because I know where you are. Because I am you.