Four years ago in my freshman English class, we were all assigned to write a letter to our future selves. I honestly had forgotten about mine up until now when I received it in the mail from my freshman year teacher.

The weirdest part about receiving this letter was that I was afraid to read it. All I could think was, "I don't want to know how much I have let my younger self down."

But I took a deep breath and read the letter anyway, this is what it said:

"Well Chloe, hopefully by the time you receive this you just started undergrad at a good college. If you didn’t, you suck and you need to get your life together, so stop being a loser.

Anyways, as you’re writing this, you’re sitting in your living room at your mom’s house while Mark is watching the news and your mom is typing away at her computer. You want to listen to music but you’re too lazy to go get your headphones from your car, hopefully, four years later and you’re not as lazy as you are now.

Anyway, in four years from now here are some goals that I hope you accomplished: be healthy, graduate from high school, have friends, no longer be an awkward potato (this may sound stupid to you, but it sounds pretty funny right now), have your own place whether it’s an apartment or a townhouse, possibly have a boyfriend? I won’t be upset if you don’t have one, have a steady job, know what your career goal is, and lastly, travel some more.

Now that you have a moment, you can look at your life and feel disappointment for letting down your 9th-grade self because I know that things were probably difficult and you weren’t able to keep these promises to yourself, let’s continue.

Your first year of high school started off strong but you slowly declined as the year went on, you really struggled with anxiety and depression this year but you made it through. If you happen to go through a rough patch like that again or are currently going through it, it will be okay. I promise. Have a support system, do not push people away. No matter what you think, this is something you can’t do on your own.

Next, I want you to love yourself if you haven’t done so already. You don’t like yourself at all right now and it sucks. I want you to promise me something, promise me that you will take care of yourself and love yourself for who you are. I want you to for once, love who you are. If you have a boyfriend, let him read this letter. Let him know the struggles you face because I know for a fact that you wouldn’t have told him any of this because you are too ashamed.

Chloe, you are more than the weight on the scale, the bad thoughts in your head, and the mean things people say about you. Surround yourself with positive people and people who love you. Life is too short to do anything else but that. Now that we have the depressing stuff out of the way, let’s talk about the good times. Freshman year was a good year, even though you started at a brand new school.

You were finally able to join marching band, you broke both of your ankles which gave you the nickname “Crip”, you made some really awesome friends that I never want you to forget because they can be in your life forever if you really try. No matter how long it has been or how/if your friendship ended, CALL THEM. Like right now. Life is too short to hold grudges and to not forgive people. You are a better person than that. You love these people and you’ve been through a lot with every single one of them. Don’t throw that away, these are amazing people. Even if they are the one who ended the friendship, call them and make plans to get coffee.

When you first got this assignment in English, you thought it was stupid and a waste of time so please do not disregard this letter. Everything in here is important. I want you to know how important you are, it’s okay if things didn’t go as planned, life isn’t supposed to be that easy. I just hope that you’re doing the best you can. I love you and I hope you’re doing okay. Mend those broken relationships, love yourself, and always give your best. Get out there and explore life dude, get drunk and have awesome jam sessions, do not let a boy ruin your life or belittle you, you are strong and independent. You are more than that. And ALWAYS work hard."

I'm not quite sure why I automatically assumed that I was going to be disappointed in myself. I worked extremely hard all 4 years of high school and I plan to do so for the rest of my college career.

The biggest lesson that I've learned from this letter is that life will never go according to plan. You can try and try all you want, but life will always have different plans for you.

So dear younger self,

Thanks for all the hopes and dreams, but I'm doing just fine.

Love always,

Chloe