Dear Former Self:
One day, you'll realize that laying on your bedroom floor, wishing you had a purpose in life, will not bring you a purpose any sooner. You will realize your parents are not out to get you. You'll realize the world does not revolve around you. One day, forcing yourself to stay awake for days, until you're so tired you can't feel pain anymore, numbing yourself, won't be the cure. One day, running off to spend time with people who treat you like you're worth less than the dirt on their boots will no longer make you feel better. One day, Former Self, you will realize something:
Life is happening, and it actually is in your control.
Although it may seem like it at times, your life is not spinning wildly out of your grasp. If you ever feel your life slipping from your grip, grip it tighter. You have always had, and will always have, control over your life. Don't like the way you see yourself? Change it. See yourself differently. Don't like the direction your life is headed? Change it. Grab the wheel and take a new road. Instead of sitting around, waiting for a knight in shining armor to run to your bedside and tell you how amazing and perfect you are, do that for yourself.
As cliché as it sounds, be your own damn hero.
Slay the dragon yourself. Fight the hurricane yourself. Run into the fire; full speed and fully armored. You don't need a knight to win your wars for you.
You may feel like you're crawling through shit and mud and you're not making any progress. You might even feel like giving up, driving your car into the river and finally being what you consider to be "free."
Let me tell you: you don't need the car or the river to be free.
You've been free all along. You've built this imaginary cage and made yourself at home in it. Nobody trapped you. You've trapped yourself, and you've forgotten that you know how to pick the lock.
This cage you've woven out of fear and negativity will only collapse by setting it on fire with your hope.
You were such a hopeful child. You dreamed. You danced. What happened to that? Somewhere along the path of life, you hit a wall, Former Self. This wall took the light from you and replaced it with nothing. A big, empty space that you thought you could fill with rebellion and "not giving a shit." If you continue to surround yourself with smoke, you will be blinded to all good things that pass you by. You need to find your light again.
No one else is going to do this for you. Only you can peel yourself up from the carpet. Open the shades. Find your light. It's out there, my friend.
Your light will turn to fire and your cage will turn to kindling. You'll run from the blaze.
And you'll be free.
