For those of you who don't know the premise of Gilmore Girls and who Christopher is, here's a crash course: Christopher was Rory's dad and Lorelai's high school boyfriend. Lorelai and him were constantly on-again, off-again throughout the show and she was always waiting for him to figure it out and fall in love with her so they could finally be a family. Christopher was irresponsible and flaky, constantly going back to Lorelai but then messing it up with other relationships (and another pregnant girl) in between. When he finally figured it out (the last time), he was all in but Lorelai had finally grown out of it and they couldn't make it work.
So, here's to all the Christopher's out there who can't figure it out and mostly the guys who we think are "the one" but in the end, we get smarter and realize you were never "the one." To you, I say thank you.
Thank you for picking up the phone calls during drunken nights when you should be the last call on our mind. Thank you for also hurting us time and time again so we run into the arms of someone who actually cares. Thank you for being there and making us think you care, only to let us down constantly.
Thank you for knowing the right things to say at all the wrong times to confuse the crap out of us. Thank you for finally figuring it out and when you do, make us question our current situation. And, when we do question it, thanks for reminding us how utterly confusing you are and make us realize how much better off we are without you.
Aside from thanking you, I'd like to say you're a moron. You let a girl who loves you so much, supports you, and believes in you, down. You let her believe she meant something to you and strung her along for so long that she finally lost hope in you. She figured you'd always hurt her, disappoint her, and never make her feel as important as you are to her. She thought you were the one - and maybe at some point you were - but you took too long to figure it out, and now, you're not the one for her, but just her biggest heartache. She'll always consider you the one that got away, or the one who hurt her the most, and for that, you should be ashamed. There's no situation where "it's meant to be" when you messed up all the times that it was meant to be.
To put it bluntly: you messed up (more than once, but we'll just say it once) and now you have to live without her.
To all the Christophers, I hope you find happiness. I hope you find a girl and stop playing games with her. I hope you buckle down, grow up, get smarter and get real because like Lorelai, the one who was meant for you will eventually give up if you don't.
And to the girls who straighten their Christophers out before they become a thing of the past, teach the other girls with a Christopher your ways. That knowledge should be shared to save many hearts from heartbreak.
