Dear Girls,
Do you remember when we were little, when we decided that when we grew up we would all live right next door to each other so we could always dump all the kids onto one person? Do you remember all the playdates where we'd beg to have a sleepover so they wouldn't end? What about the fact that our families spent so much time together that you learned to understand Spanish and I understood Japanese? The memories with you in them are some of the best memories I have.
I can't remember a time in my life without you, that's how long I've known you. Kyoko, I remember when you were born. Mika was so excited at the idea of having a little sister, and so was I. Most people think I only have two sisters, but they're wrong. I have four. Because, let's be honest, you guys aren't friends, or even best friends. The two of you are my sisters. The first sisters I had. I mean, you guys, we were so close people always assumed we were related. Looking back on it, our baby selves do look alike, but at the time we could never understand why people would confuse a little Mexican girl and two Japanese-American girls to all be sisters. But we would just laugh.
I turn 20 this year. That means that both of you have been in my life for almost two decades, a lifetime on my part. We used to tell each other everything. Every secret of yours I knew and kept, and you did the same for me. When I moved, I was terrified I would lose this. I figured it would be hard to be best friends from over 500 miles away. And every once in a while I still get struck with the fear that we'll grow apart, that you'll forget me. But every time we talk or every time we see each other, it's as if it's only been a day, not years, as if we still live 30 minutes away, not hours. My life is forever different because I know you.
Still, I know that over the years we've gotten closer to other people. I've always hated the term "best friend" because I felt that meant I had to choose. I didn't want to choose between the two of you or between anyone else. So you two were my best friends, and everyone else was a good friend. I felt guilty when I thought I had a new best friend in my boyfriend, and again in my first year of college. Maybe we just have different best friends at different points in our lives. And maybe our point passed.
We might not tell each other everything now, there are parts of our lives that we've missed because of distance. And that broke my heart just a little when I realized it. But I think it's okay, and here's why: yeah, there are parts of you that have changed, the same with me. But I think the good of having a childhood best friend that pops up every once in a while is that you have someone who's known you your whole life. I think an occasional visit is good; it's good to know that no matter how much we change, there's someone out there who has known us at each and every stage of life. If we've stuck with each other through all the changes we've been through already, that means we're definitely not leaving.
It's been helpful for me to come and visit every few years. There have been times where I've gotten myself mixed up, that I wasn't quite sure who I was. But going to see you two, you help remind me of who I am, and more importantly, who I want to be. I only hope I can do the same for you.
So maybe we don't spend every weekend together anymore. Maybe you've forgotten how to say "Girls, it's bedtime" in Spanish and I've forgotten "Girls, come to dinner" in Japanese. And with where our lives are taking us now, we might not get to be next-door neighbors with shared backyards to leave the kids in, but it's okay. Both of you will always be my childhood best friends. And even if we're not technically best friends now, you know what? I don't care. Because first and foremost, Mika and Kyoko, you two will always be my sisters. And that's a bond that nothing—not even distance—can get rid of.
So basically, y'all are stuck with me!
Love,
Anna
